Wings of an Angel
by Hot4Gerry
Summary: Erik has been whisked away to England where Meg continues to care for him. Not having been out in the world Erik needs guidance as well as a keeper of his lost soul. She will protect him from himself and from the world which rejected him. E/M R
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Erik has been whisked away to England where Meg continues to care for him. Not having been out in the world Erik needs guidance as well as a keeper of his lost soul. Devastated beyond human endurance Meg must keep a constant vigil on her charge to keep him from harm. Whether by his own hand, or the unforgiving world that had rejected him from birth.**

**Wings of an Angel**

**Chapter One **

**Angel's Sorrow**

Sunlight glinted through the windows as if the panes of glass were shot through with diamonds. Specks of dust floated in the beams of light shining into the room. The patio doors were opened to allow anyone in the library to sit and enjoy the chirping of the birds as they fought over the seeds in the feeder. Every now and then one could hear the splash of wings as a tiny bird bathed in the birdbath. All pleasant diversions on a lazy summer day to be sure.

The library had little sound other than an occasional turn of a page accompanied by a contented sigh and ticking of the mantle clock. Peace and quiet seemed to be the order of the moment. Sunlight cast its warming rays on the down turned golden head. The novel she held in her hands told of a great romance between a man tortured by his past and a beautiful young heroine who fell in love with him despite his black moods and angry words he shouted at her constantly as he fought the tenderness he felt toward the young maiden.

The story held her interest so avidly because she felt it mirrored her own life at the moment. Love, if that is what she felt, had been working its way into her heart despite her best efforts to deny any such emotion toward her angry charge. On his part she felt tolerance would be an adequate word to describe his emotional response to her presence. Despite the months of tender care and all the sleepless nights she had watched over him she still felt he kept himself at a distance. Under the circumstances that was understandable and even expected. With time she had hoped things would change, he would change. Thus far he remained locked in the nightmare of his lost love. Because he could not abandon hope the woman who rejected him would one day return it kept him forever tied heart and soul to a woman who may never be by his side.

Whenever she tried to gently remind him that he had a new life worth living his anger exploded to such an intensity at times she feared what he might do. Deep down she held the belief that he did care for her and would never hurt her intentionally. The days when he shouted curses at anyone who so much as looked at him had begun to dwindle. The servants knew to take a wide birth if they heard his loud curses or the crash of breaking glass. Those occurrences had been a daily routine for many months. They had tapered off but not disappeared altogether.

Sighing loudly she looked at the clock. Not much time left to enjoy the rush of warmth the story had brought to her heart. It began to look as if the brooding hero and the heroine would find their happily ever after. If only…well at the moment her life could fill a book with if onlys.

This quiet wouldn't last. It never did on those days when the papers carried news of the happy French aristocratic couple. For now all seemed to be gloriously quiet. The young woman could calculate almost to the second when the peace would end. Had not she gone through many similar days in the past six months?

A satisfied and contented sigh left the young woman's lips as she reached the end of her chapter. Her romantic interlude with the hero of her novel would have to continue tomorrow, or if she were lucky tonight when she crawled into her warm lonely bed.

Glancing at the clock once more she sighed heavily preparing herself mentally for what was to come. It wouldn't be much longer now. She thought it best to prepare for the destruction to come in the next few minutes. Lord knows she had plenty of practice cleaning up after and calming the beast after those moments of pure rage. At times he did seem to expend his rage more quickly these days.

As soon as he read the headlines she expected to hear glass breaking, furniture flying and the air to turn blue with curses. He would roar in anger until he had no more anger to spew forth. The anger would give way to the anguish and tears. He would mourn his loss for days. Why he would do this to himself remained a mystery. Surely by now he could see there was no future in holding onto something that truly never was a reality? Could he not see that another could and would give him everything his lonely heart yearned to have? That she would give him everything? No he was not ready for such a revelation just yet. In time perhaps if she could retain her patient vigil he might turn to her. Until then she must do her best to keep him from being his own worst enemy.

One month of somewhat peaceful days and now this bit of news had to come to ruin their peace, not that Meg begrudged Christine and Raoul there moments of bliss but she did wish Erik had more time before another glimpse into the happy couples life showed him everything he himself had given up when he released Christine into Raoul's care.

He would have moments of shouting and bad temper when some small article would carry the names of the couple who had broken him leaving him a shell of a man. With the lessoning of the tirades it did seem as if he would soon mend then something new would set him off making a mockery of the preceding peace. This last blow Meg considered somewhat of a touchy point with Erik. He had to think of what his own children would have to bear if he were to eventually share such things with a woman. He'd not wish to burden a child with the same affliction which had ruled his tragic life to this point.

She had thought to keep the paper from him but he would only badger her for it or send one of the staff to fetch a new one. If she kept it from him Erik would know it contained something she wished to hide from him.

She could not believe that in six months he had not seemed to let go of Christine one tiny bit. If he was not composing frantically at all hours creating romantically sad and heartrending music he paced about holding her picture murmuring to himself. He drew her image over and over. He barely slept or ate. If not for her nagging and cajoling him Meg thought he would simply waste away.

Meg knew this could not go on much longer. He had been ill when she had found him in the tunnel the night of Don Juan Triumphant. Not an illness of the body even though he had been feverish, but one more of the mind and soul. He had recovered from his physical illness, now he needed to mend his mental and emotional illness. She tried but he resisted all her efforts to come closer to him, to know him better. Erik would not concede that he needed human contact other than his memory of Christine. He needed someone who would be there for him when he needed a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. If he would open his eyes he would see that Meg could give him everything he had ever wanted. For now he was not ready to accept what she would willingly give.

He had begged her to let him die during those first few days of recuperating. He had cursed her when she forced him to his feet the night of the last performance at L'Opéra Populaire. To get him on his feet she had asked him if he would want to repay her mother's years of loyal service with the death of her daughter. If they did not move the gendarmes, local police and people who had worked in the opera house would find them and shoot and ask questions later when they caught up with them.

Tired to death of referring to him as The Phantom or Opera Ghost, Meg had asked him if he had a name. For many moments he had looked at her blankly as if he had to think of an answer, which later she found out he had indeed needed to think to recall what his name had been. He had not been called by his name since he was about five and given to the Gypsies or sold, he could not remember clearly.

He had told her his name was Erik. She had not asked for a surname at that time. When they had decided to leave France she had asked and he had told her he did not know. He only vaguely remembered being called Erik. Was it not fortunate he knew himself to be other than The Devil's Child or his most recent titles? His laugh at his own joke held more the sound of dry sobs than laughter.

Meg's mother, Antoinette Giry had dared to offer Erik her own family name, Trudeau. So Erik Trudeau had been born.

Knowing Erik must have funds hidden someplace Antoinette had badgered him until he had relented and told her where she might find his wealth. The sum he had extorted from the different managers over the years had accumulated into a tidy sum. More than a man could spend sensibly in his lifetime.

Erik could not travel alone nor be trusted not to bring some harm to himself or worse track down Raoul and Christine. It had been decided that Antoinette and Meg would accompany Erik on his journey to England.

Erik, Antoinette and Meg had stayed in the small nondescript apartment in London while Antoinette had gone round to the estate agents in search of the perfect home for a man who needed seclusion but needed to be near the arts if the mood struck him to partake of such things.

After a month and a half of looking the perfect estate had come on the market. The fifteen room home was surrounded by a hundred acres of lush green grass. Horses and cows had come with the property as well as a number of people who lived and worked on the estate as tenants farming the land and herding the flocks of sheep.

Meg had fallen in love with the three story house as soon as she laid eyes on it. Erik had grumbled about the need for a great deal of staff to run such a place. He had negative offerings to throw out no matter what the circumstances. Meg began to think it was his negativity that had kept him separated from humanity rather than the misfortune of his disfigured face.

They settled in quite nicely as far as Erik was concerned. He had thought Meg and her mother had given up on the idea of staff. He had been wrong. A parade of people had come and gone through his home. The women insisted he be present during the interviews so they could get an honest reaction to Erik, not only his face, but his less than cordial disposition. Erik on his best days could be quite formidable. Meg preferred not to think of his worst days.

Meg met his rages with calm even when at times he frightened her. Even believing he would not hurt her did not belie the fact that she did fear him a little. Sometimes his rages took complete control of him. He lost all sense of himself and became something quite evil. With Meg's calming influence those worst days were becoming fewer and fewer while being of shorter duration.

Erik had never been taught how to show displeasure without letting his emotions get out of hand. He had the same problem showing affection as he did keeping his rage and anger under control. For Erik it had always been all or nothing.

This attitude had been what most likely caused his failure to sway Christine to his side. If Erik showed a little less aggression and more kindness and care he might have been able to win Christine. Meg did not doubt that Christine felt something deep for Erik. Everyone had seen it plainly displayed upon the stage during the last performance. The powerful seductive spell Erik had woven had almost had Christine throwing caution to the wind and forgoing her part in the plan to capture or kill Erik.

Christine had told Meg later that if Erik had not used Raoul's exact words to try to sway her to him, she might have given in. By the time they had reached the top of the stairs Christine had been so inflamed by desire for her Angel of Music all else had faded into the background. When Erik had caressed her all else seemed not to matter. Then he had used Raoul's words waking Christine from her entrancement.

In all his life no one had loved Erik or shown him how to express those feelings. Meg thought that was why he had failed with Christine. He had frightened her so badly any tenderness she might have felt for him was not allowed to blossom under Erik's tyranny and anger. He could bring Christine almost to the point of surrender then ruin it all with an outburst of anger.

Meg did not doubt at all that her dear sister loved Erik deeply even as she feared him. Christine never failed to ask after Erik on Meg's monthly visits to Paris. Neither mentioned the fact that Christine kept it a secret from Raoul that she asked after Erik's health.

Antoinette had returned to France expecting Meg to come home soon after. Meg had delayed her return home month after month until she had at last admitted to her mother that she could not bear to leave Erik alone. She had come to care deeply for him. She couldn't say it was definitely love as Erik would not let her explore that avenue in their relationship or even if they could have a relationship as he refused to let the past go.

Meg became so frustrated at times she felt as if she could shake Erik until his teeth rattled. The man had no compass to go by when his emotions ran rampant. Erik's lifestyle during his time in the opera house did not give him any coping skills. He saw something he wanted and he took it irregardless of the consequences.

Erik had so little in his life that he did not deny himself anything once he held sway over the opera house. His arrogance had led to his downfall. Meg could feel pity for the man even as she detested his actions.

She felt shame at times when she thought how glad she was that Christine had fallen in love with Raoul instead of Erik, at least not in the way he had wanted Christine to love him. Erik had been far too demanding for Christine. Meg loved her adopted sister dearly but did not have blinders on regarding Christine's shortcomings. Christine needed someone who would cherish her while making her feel protected and coddled. Raoul did that quite nicely whereas Erik had demanded things Christine had not been willing or able to give to him.

Christine needed safety and security. Erik could not be considered either of those things at the moment, perhaps not ever. Erik had a lot of progressing to do before he could even know how to love a woman properly.

Meg's introspections were interrupted by the loud roar she had been expecting followed by the crashing of glass and splintering wood. Erik kept the local craftsman busy for certain. The man had even gone so far as to begin leaving his tools in the garden shed.

Sighing tiredly Meg got to her feet. She went into the hall to see the staff scurrying about like rats on a sinking ship. Meg wished at times she could scuttle away and hide from Erik's temper.

She went to find Deacon, the stable boy. He was the one Meg always sent for the man who repaired things once Erik had finished one of his destructive rages. No doubt this time would be no different than the others. Erik would leave whatever room he was in looking as if some violent act of nature had occurred.

Meg mounted the stairs wondering when this would end. Her patience was teetering on the brink ready to fall off the cliff of tolerance. A particularly thunderous clash of glass against other glass had her grabbing her skirt so she could take the stairs at a faster pace. Heaven help anyone who had been in the room with Erik.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**Raging Angel**

Erik read the printed words before him then read them once more as if the meaning would change with the second reading. Hurt, anger, bitterness and so many other emotions stormed through him leaving a fiery burning in his belly and a cloud of pure red hatred in his heart and mind.

He tore the paper into pieces throwing them toward the fireplace. The weather being quite mild there had been no fire lain this day. Cursing the futility of having a fireplace with no fire Erik proceeded to set the papers on fire with a match from the mantle. The crackling of the burning paper did little to dispel the raging fire beginning to burn within him nearly rivaling the fire now crackling in the fireplace.

The arrival of today's paper had crushed Erik's last hope of ever gaining Christine's love. She would never be by his side as his wife. The way things stood now he could never see her again. Married. She had married her little Vicomte. Erik picked up the nearest object which happened to be a little figurine. Drawing back his hand he tossed it against the wall with a satisfying splintering of glass.

Once the carnage had begun it continued until either Meg came and stopped him or Erik tired himself out from all the hurling of furniture around the room.

Erik fumed staring angrily around the room his anger futilely raging inside of him with nothing to expend that anger. Not long into his fit he ran out of things to break. Damn Meg. She had begun to furnish his study very sparsely after a few incidents such as today's bout of rage. She had told him it would be useless and wasteful to place expensive things in the room only for him to break them when emotions overwhelmed him. He had cursed at her that it had been his money that had brought her here and it would be his money that sent her home.

Erik never really considered sending Meg away. He only said it as he had little with which to curb her tendency to try to rein him in. He had come to expect and look forward to her interventions in some odd way. He didn't fully understand it. He did not care enough to delve into the whys of their strange relationship.

About five minutes into his fit of "house cleaning" Erik heard the unmistakable sound of heels clicking along the hallway floor. The tread indicated the wearer of those shoes felt a little angered or perturbed. Erik looked around at the destruction he had caused. He could not remove all evidence but he could hide some of it. Perhaps Meg would lesson her tirade and lecture to mere minutes rather than the usual hour speaking to him as if he were a damn child.

As quickly as he could Erik used his boot to scoot the debris on the floor underneath the furniture that remained unbroken. He could do nothing about the window nor the lamps and small chairs that had suffered during his angry release of frustration and pain.

Meg entered the room without so much as a knock. Irritated at her audacity Erik had opened his mouth to roar at her. When she meekly folded her hands together waiting for him to begin her dressing down Erik felt that whatever he said to her would be as water off a duck's back. She hardly ever even blinked during his bouts of anger let alone show any fear. It confounded him that Meg could not be ruffled by him. No matter what hurtful things he said to her she listened through his diatribe without so much as a wince.

He had taken to being very cruel toward Meg trying to illicit some response other than this calm façade she presented.

"So have you destroyed enough for today or should I have the servants bring some more for you to toss about?" Meg surveyed the damage. It was no more than she had expected.

"Do not use that tone with me. I am not a child. All of this is mine. If I wish to light a torch and burn it I will." Erik stood belligerently daring Meg to contradict him.

"So you would burn everything?" Meg calmly took a match from the silver box on the mantle. She picked up several drawings of Christine and set the match to them. Erik roared striding furiously across the short expanse between them. Taking the papers from Meg's unresisting hand he shoved Meg backwards hard enough to push her into a table Erik had not managed to knock over and damage.

Meg hit her head on the corner dazing her senses for a moment or two. Surprise then hurt feelings flooded her causing more pain than any injury. She felt the small trickle of blood coming from her forehead. With shaky fingertips Meg wiped at her injury. Drawing back her hand she saw the red wetness upon her fingers. Erik had drawn blood from her. He had used his strength fully without checking his brute force as he had pushed her.

Never would she have believed Erik would become incensed enough to do her an injury. Even now his full attention focused on the mere likeness of Christine rather than the very real woman in the room with him. A woman for all he knew he may well have killed.

Some small hope that she might one day drag Erik into the reality of his life died in that moment. Meg felt a crushing blow to her pride. She had risked everything, given up her life of normalcy for him. He cared nothing for her, the real woman who would have given him freely all he asked. He had all but forgotten her presence. Mere pictures of Christine meant more to him than whether or not he had done her some harm.

She alone held his hand, caressed his back, murmured soft words of comfort when his despair over losing Christine drove him into depression. Her loving gestures elicited only his anger and harsh judgment. Enough was enough. Meg felt it time to accept things as they were. Nothing she could say or do would ever be enough to have Erik abandon his dream of Christine. Erik had mired himself in his dream of having Christine at all costs. Giving her up that night had for him only been a meaningless gesture. At the time he may have meant to honor the gift of freedom he had given to Christine and Raoul but later his love for her would not let him release her from his heart and mind. He could never let Christine go.

Erik heard the rustle of Meg's skirts. When he looked at her, he could see her struggling to come to her feet. Spying the red stain on her forehead nearly made him sick. When he would have helped her Meg whispered for him not to touch her. Even now her voice remained calm and even. Never had she raised her voice in anger to him. She had been stern and cross but never showed anger in her words or voice toward him. Erik could not say the same for his actions toward Meg.

Looking down at the papers in his hand he felt shame wash over him for what he had done. Was this what he thought worth harming Meg, a few bits of paper with charcoal lines forming a pleasing countenance? Could the woman in the drawing praise him for his talents as Meg had done over and over? Could she sit with him in the evenings conversing about all manner of topics? Did she cry with him or sooth him when his despair seemed all he would ever have?

Even when Christine had been real she had never treated him as a man the way Meg had done since she first encountered him in the tunnel. She had done nothing really to earn such harsh treatment from him. Perhaps this would be the time she left as he had always thought he wanted. As he thought of her leaving now panic began to rise in him. What would he do without her? What would he do on the nights his nightmares had him screaming so loudly he woke the household but only Meg came to sooth and comfort him until he fell asleep once more? Glancing at Meg Erik saw the sadness in her face as well as something that might be conviction.

"I suppose it will please you to know I will be leaving in the morning. I will be going home to France. I'll not have you suffer my presence since I disturb you so much."

"Leave? But…but you only came back last week. Surely there can be nothing you need that cannot be found in London." Erik scrambled around in his brain trying to find a way to make her stay. Perhaps if he apologized that would have some influence on her decision. The apology died on his lips as did any further request for her to stay.

He could find no reason for her to stay or for that matter to return once she had escaped his evil temper. Erik had never given Meg any reason to do any of the kind things she did for him with only his temper as her reward.

The tightness in his chest nearly drove him to his knees as he considered that she may never return. Never to see or speak to her bothered him, more than he had imagined. Had he not treated her poorly with this goal in mind?

He snuck a look at the top of Meg's golden crown of hair. If ever anyone looked angelic it would be Meg. It astounded him that she had remained so innocent living among the loose moraled people who populated the opera house. The patrons were not much better, always trying to encourage the chorus girls and ballerinas to lift their skirts.

Christine retained that same innocence. Antoinette had done a fine job of bringing them up by herself. Of course he had been in the background to keep an eye on them. Thinking back Erik felt a prick to his conscience as he had not kept as strict an eye on Meg as he had Christine.

As Meg reached the door Erik wanted to call out to her but his throat felt as if a vice had been placed on his vocal cords. His pride would not let him beg for her company. If she wished to leave he would do nothing to stop her.

He turned away just before he heard the click of the door. His shoulders slumped as he dropped down onto the chair Meg had just left. He could still smell her essence, feel the warmth of her body. Erik turned his head to inhale the remainder of Meg that lingered for a short time after her departure.

Bracing his elbows on his knees Erik rested his head in his hands. Soon he would once again be alone. He had gotten used to Meg always being their other than her short forays back to Paris. Loneliness like a living thing began to engulf him bringing forth sobs such as he had not shed since Christine had left him with her lover.

Erik was not certain he could survive such complete loneliness again. It had been his hurt and stubbornness that had made him act so viciously toward Meg. His anger always rose quickly causing him to strike out before he could think clearly about showing his displeasure in a different, less violent manner.

He may have lost his one and only friend. He still had the drawings of Christine but they seemed to be cold comfort in comparison to Meg's lively chatter and soothing presence.

Meg leaned tiredly against the door listening to Erik's heartbreaking sobs. If she thought he would have welcomed her comfort she would have given in against her better judgment. Perhaps it was as well she did not go to him. A few weeks without her, perhaps a month and maybe he would come to miss her. Always before, she had only ever gone for a week or two. Now Meg felt it would be apropos to leave Erik to his own devices for a longer period of time.

Shoving away from the door Meg strode determinedly toward the staircase before she gave into her weakness for Erik's suffering. He deserved a little suffering for taking his anger out on her. In his defense it had been cruel to try to burn the images of Christine he cherished. Meg could only hope some day a man would cherish her in such a way. She dare not let herself be deluded that it would be Erik. Today had well and truly opened her eyes to the truth. Erik now and forever would hold Christine sacred in his heart.

Meg felt a need for her mother's loving arms holding her as she cried out all her heartbreak. Maman would know what to do. She always had.

Once Meg made it to her room she packed her things she would need for her trip. Sitting down she wrote out instructions as to how the house needed to be run in her absence. Luckily Erik's estate was located at an intersection of railways from one end of England to another. The trains stopped several times a day to collect coal, water and food. It also took on and let off passengers. Tomorrow Meg would once again be one of those passengers leaving.

Knowing she would not sleep Meg permitted her foolish mind to think of things that would never happen. Christine had told her of those kisses she had shared with Erik. Christine had said that even in his stunned misery Erik had a seductive power that had nearly delivered her at his feet in supplication. It had been Erik who sent Christine away.

Christine said she had gotten over Erik for the most part but sometimes Meg did not quite believe her. If it were she who had kissed Erik Meg knew the memory of it would be etched on her mind for eternity. The feel of his lips would be in every dream. As it was he occupied far too many of her restless dreams.

Sighing Meg began to drift into one of her nightly romps with Erik. The first time she had such a dream she had not been able to look Erik in the eye for nearly a week. As she became accustomed to her nightly romance Meg felt less shame and more anticipatory for nightfall. She would begin a scenario in her head prior to going to bed then let her dreams finish what her conscious mind had begun.

Erik had his own dreams to contend with that night. A confusing miss mash they were. Christine and Meg kept superimposing one another until he awoke both flustered and confused. Meg would be leaving today. Erik felt in no hurry to greet the day.

Meg woke feeling sluggish from lack of a restful night. She had tossed about dreaming of Erik both good and bad dreams. Having bathed and dressed Meg could find nothing to keep her any longer. Foolishly she had let her dreams persuade her Erik would come to beg her forgiveness as well as asking her to stay. That had been a pipe dream, a romantic fairytale.

She rang for the houseboy Samuel to come carry her things down once the coach had been readied to take her to the railway station.

As was wont to happen when one dreaded an event time seemed to fly by all too quickly. Looking at the clock Erik surmised Meg would be downstairs waiting for the carriage. She would have breakfasted long ago. If Meg thought him churlish for not going down to send her off with a hearty fare-the-well, hell would have snow before he admitted to himself or anyone he did not want Meg to go.

Erik knew he should apologize but pride would not allow him to do any such thing. If he cut his nose off to spite his face so be it. Erik almost laughed at the irony of his thoughts. His nose being a part of the deformity had one nostril that flared far wider than it should.

Hearing a horse whinnying Erik sighed heavily. Perhaps he would look out the window. The morning sunshine always made the view from his bedroom window quite pleasing. If he had only once taken advantage of that fact now he would do so again and not because he would be able to see Meg depart.

Using the back of his hand Erik pushed the drape aside a tiny sliver. Looking down into the courtyard he could see the top of Meg's beautiful blond head. Had anything ever been created that could compete with such natural wonder?

Erik frowned to have such romantic thoughts traveling through his head. Christine's long curly brown locks were far more beautiful, were they not? Erik refused to answer that question in fear of his answer.

As he got his last sight of Meg before she disappeared he felt that familiar constriction in his chest that came upon him every time Meg left him. No matter how many times Erik told himself that it was idiocy to feel anything other than relief to be rid of Meg, he always felt this crippling sense of loss. He tried to tell himself it was only Meg's companionship he missed and not her personally. At times Erik could delude himself very effectively. Look how he had deluded himself over Christine.

As the carriage began to pull away Erik could not let her go with this rift between them. Grabbing his robe Erik hurried out of his bedroom to dash down the stairs as he donned his robe. Racing across the foyer he threw open the door only in time to see the carriage going through the gates. He had been too late.

He slammed his fist against the doorframe. Damnation, could nothing ever turn out the way he wanted it to? Would he be forever cursed to have all his hopes and dreams dashed to the ground in shards like glass?

Sighing in disgust at his own stupidity Erik retraced his steps with lackluster now in every step. For now all he could do was wait for her to return, if indeed she intended to return. Suddenly Erik had to know. He ran up the last few stairs then down the hall to Meg's room. Once there he hesitated to open the door in fear of what he might find.

If all her personal effects were gone she would not be coming back. If everything lay on dressers and pictures hung on the wall she would be returning.

Tentatively Erik opened the door. Once he could view the whole of the room he nearly collapsed in relief. Her things were all right where they should be. Only her comb, brush and mirror set were missing from the top of the vanity. Pictures in small frames cluttered every available flat surface as well as the walls. Her jewelry box still sat atop the dresser.

Backing out of the room he felt somewhat calmer. He could tolerate her absence now that he knew Meg would be coming back. No woman would leave such precious mementoes behind.

The days now seemed to drag for Erik. Time before seemed to fly. Now when he wished it would the darn clock seemed to have come to a near stop on the occasion when he would take a casual glance at it. Erik would deny he looked at the clock three or four times per hour.

It did not help Erik's disposition to read in the paper of Meg being seen at the opera with a cousin of Raoul's. Damn the de Chagny men. Must they have every presentable female in Paris under their thumb? He looked far too much like Raoul for Erik's peace of mind.

Erik could not help but compare his hideous face to that handsome young noble's pleasing features. Meg never showed disgust when looking into his face. In fact she always seemed to look directly into his eyes which annoyed him no end when he wished to keep something from her. That woman could read him like an open book. It had proven to be a drawback when he tried to intimidate or outwit her. At times he thought for sure Meg could read his mind.

Not having anything in particular to do now that his one source of amusement had left, Erik wandered about the house aimlessly. If he found himself more than a few times back in the sunny library he felt certain it was only because his books were located in that room. Never mind that he did not look at the books but rather at the seat where Meg always sat reading or just closing her eyes for a little catnap.

Meg did love the sun. She particularly enjoyed it as she sat reading. Erik perused the room his mind calculating and planning. It shouldn't take much to add a solarium just off the end of the library where the wall had been made of glass doors. If one were to make one corner of the room in brick a fireplace could be installed to warm the room in winter. Greenery would stay green all year and flowers would bloom all year round. Exotic plants could even be coaxed into growing in a place not of their origin.

The rest of the room could be glass. Plants in a variety of colors and genus around the room would add a pleasant atmosphere. One could enjoy the sun from every angle.

The present birdbath could be moved just to the side and perhaps enlarged thereby inviting more birds to partake of what it offered. Nectar could be hung out to invite those tiny humming birds Meg found so intriguing. Not that any of his plans had anything to do with what Meg liked or did not like. If he changed anything it would be for his pleasure alone.

Once the idea set in his mind Erik went to work ordering the appropriate wood, glass and stone. He even placed a rather large order for wicker furniture from the little factory in town. Being a town right in the middle of a railroad crossing drew businesses hawking their wares to tourists and the general populace alike. Everything one could think of could either be found in town or soon ordered and delivered to the rail station. The area had grown by leaps and bounds from the time the first train had come through. Erik could be grateful for such easy means to procure goods and services.

The handyman had been contacted. Since the man had taken over his garden shed Erik considered him a fulltime employee. Terrance Souder had been happy to see Erik when he came to town to arrange for work to begin on his new project.

Erik had been instructed that all his friends called him Terry and so Erik must do so also as they would be working cheek by jowl for the next month or so. Terry even suggested that it might be more convenient for him to stay in the gardener's cottage so as they could get early starts every morning. Staring at the man in vexation, Erik wondered how it had come about that he had a tenant living on his property who had not mentioned paying for said accommodations.

Erik had been further astounded when Terry took control of much of the business end of things without a word from his supposed employer. Erik had been worrying over how he could approach the man with that part of things. Not wanting to be in contact with all and sundry Erik felt annoyed as well as relieved not to have to visit all the building suppliers in the area.

So began a friendship such as Erik had never had before. As much as he knew about design and building Terry had forgotten and learned twice as much. The man had a solution for every problem that arose. The fact that he treated Erik with respect and did not seem to notice his mask overly much, Erik found himself liking Terry more and more.

Meg would come home to find quite a change in the house as well as Erik. Meg would not be the only one in for a surprise. Meg brought visitors back with her.

Erik would be in for quite a shock.

**A/N: Please, please review. Meg and Erik have a special place in my heart. I find them an irrisistable couple but not many care for that pairing so my stories rest inside my computer with only one coming out every so often. I do beg your indulgence and let me have this little shameful secrect. Again please review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**Tension of Meg's Return**

Erik had received a letter from Meg informing him she had arrived in Pennington. She would be staying the night there and would be home early on the fifth. The letter arrived on the fourth so Erik assumed Meg to be already checked in at the inn. Why not come home since she had come so far? Only an hour more and she could sleep in her own bed. He did not want to waste time speculating about Meg's reasons. He felt the leap of his heart and the lifting of the dark cloud that had hung over the whole house since Meg had left.

Never having felt like this before Erik could not put a name to all the feelings coursing through him. He knew he felt happiness. That emotion he had always readily recognized upon Meg's return from one of her long absences. This new intensity of what felt like some strange longing would not leave him in peace. A similar emotion had plagued him when he had been in the throes of his insanity over Christine.

Everyone in the household knew the routine. Master Erik would stomp around ordering this or that be made ready for Miss Meg's return. They all saw the look in the Masters eyes. All knew how he felt while also knowing he would rather eat a pail of dirt than admit such a thing. He seemed to want to push her away just as much as he wished to keep her close. The shouting matches they had heard would curl the hair of lesser beings. Master Erik did all the shouting while Miss Meg stood by ready to pour him a scotch or wine whichever his palate would be in the mood for once his temper had cooled.

Everyone figured Miss Meg had earned every medal ever worn by any soldier as she had faced Master Erik's vile temper many times with little regard for her safety. No one thought Master Erik would hurt Miss Meg intentionally but when the shouting started one of the burlier field hands stood just outside the door just in case. Men and women had been known to snap killing a loved one before saner thinking could prevail.

That last day Victor had been about to enter and make short work of Master Erik when Miss Meg had come out looking thoroughly broken in spirit with only a small cut on her forehead. Victor had approached her but she had waved him away. He had done as she asked casting a scowl at the door to Master Erik's private music room. Meg had whispered as she passed Victor for him to leave the Master to his temper. He would recover as he always did. After she had left, Master Erik had taken to roaming about the house like a lost soul. He had moped for days. Everyone felt relief when he came up with his new plan.

Victor being friendly with Terry had asked him to take the young Master under his wing. The man needed some masculine guidance. Someone who could bend Erik a little without breaking him. Since Terry had proven to be helpful with the wayward youth in the area perhaps he could teach their employer how to better cope with his frustrations.

They all had learned pretty early on who their employer really was. Word of his exploits had been carried across the channel shortly after the disaster. When this masked man and a young woman showed up the surrounding community had been astir trying to find out all they could about him. It had been come and go whether or not everyone stayed once learning of Master Erik's misdeeds. As a group they had sat and discussed things coming to the conclusion they would give the man time to prove himself to be a poor misunderstood man or simply a man with a murderous nature.

Time had proven the Master had moments when his anger raged somewhat out of control. If not for everyone being privy to Miss Meg's blossoming love for him they might have left him to his own devices. It had been plain as the noses on their faces that Miss Meg had come with a certain awe and admiration for the man. The feelings had grown stronger and morphed into fledgling love.

Miss Meg having won the hearts of all the servants they would move heaven and earth to assist those two with their romance. If love had not bound those two why would Miss Meg time and time again return for more of Master Erik's temper and foul moods? The dear girl had a mother who would willingly let her come home, no questions asked.

As of yet no one had wagged any tongues for the impropriety of a young unmarried woman living with a virile man. Perhaps the locals thought Miss Meg to be some sort of relative. If they were in the company of those two for more than five minutes that cloak would drop revealing lovers longingly stealing glances when the other was not aware.

They figured that the Paris business with that soprano to be over. A bird in the hand being worth two in the bush and all that. Was Miss Meg not on the spot? For all Master Erik pitched a fit at every article concerning his first lady love and her husband it had become clear he did it more now out of habit than any real feeling of loss, at least in their humble opinion.

Half the men in the county had been sniffing around Miss Meg's skirts from the moment she had been introduced to the local society. Once she had begun to accept more and more invitations Master Erik had tried to use his cleverness to force her to stay at home with him. Of course being a young woman she would have none of that. In the end he had to go with Miss Meg or pace the floors until she had returned. A few nights roaming around cursing every other man on the planet for sins as yet unknown to the servants, Master Erik had claimed to have an interest in the local history and would therefore be accompanying Miss Meg to whichever function she was to attend in future.

Now on this day of Meg's return Erik paced about the foyer with his hands behind his back. He would stop in mid stride to pull his pocket watch from his vest pocket every few minutes. Meg would be here shortly. He continued to pace only to stop again a few seconds later. Stopping his pacing Erik reconsidered standing in the foyer waiting for Meg like some lovesick puppy. He would wait for her in the library. This would give her a view of the new glassed in area without him having to mention it himself. He could pretend only a casual interest although he felt his insides jittering as if he swallowed a swarm of bees. Going into the library Erik first sat in one chair then another. He could not seem to alight anywhere for more than a few seconds.

Meg sat in the small buggy the innkeeper had let his son use to take her home. She only carried her night case with her. Everything else would come with Christine and Aubrey. Meg smiled when she thought of Raoul's cousin. Aubrey Rousseau had been quite entertaining while Meg had been in Paris. Raoul had introduced them with the intention of making a match. She and Aubrey both thought they would make better friends than potential lovers. Upon Aubrey confessing his love for a shopkeeper's daughter Meg had confessed she too had an interest in another person. She did not go into details as she feared Aubrey may well let something slip without meaning to. It had been all well and good to think she could leave Erik behind with little thought. It had been another when her mind began to play scenes where Erik did himself some harm.

In the beginning he had tried do just that but with little success. Meg and her mother had discussed the matter and concluded that a man with Erik's intelligence there would have been no mistake made taking the correct amount of sleeping powder to end his life. It had been a bid for attention to his pain even if he could not address it himself.

With only a few minutes left Meg prayed she had done the right thing in bringing Christine to see Erik. It had taken much persuasion from both Meg and Christine to get Raoul to agree and then he only consented if Aubrey would be allowed to travel with them. Truthfully Meg could say she had been relieved someone would be around other than servants when Erik and Christine faced one another after so short a time since all the heartache of the last few months.

Christine had been hesitant to comply with Meg's request at first fearing her Angel may have not yet gotten over her and what she had done to him. That sort of betrayal is hard to find forgiveness in ones heart even if they love the betrayer as Erik had loved her. Meg had found it odd that Christine still referred to Erik as her Angel or simply her teacher. When she spoke his name Christine sounded as if she spoke of some stranger rather than a man she had known for the last twelve years.

When Meg had asked Christine how she could have still believed him to be an angel after she had grown from the wide-eyed wonder of childhood Christine had sat for a few minutes in silence. Just when Meg had thought she may not answer Christine had told her that on reflection she had suspicions her teacher had less than angelic qualities as he did curse at her when she committed some silly error while singing one of his compositions. She knew for sure when he took her down below that first time. Until that time Christine had said that she had never felt any fear when in the presence of her angel.

Meg could not help but note the number of times Christine had asked for Meg to tell her everything about Erik since he had left the opera house. They had to be careful where they held these discussions as Raoul tended to become a little belligerent when hearing of Christine's Angel of Music. Raoul had a right to be upset and cautious. Had Erik not tried to kill Raoul twice as well as kidnap his fiancée with little regard for anyone's safety?

Meg's heart began to pound as they drew up in front of Erik's home. It felt as if she were coming home. If everything worked out the way she hoped perhaps it would be Meg's permanent residence. She thanked the driver and handed him a small tip. He tipped his hat and left. For only a few seconds Meg felt her cowardly inner being readying to shout for Danny to come back. She conquered her fears entering the silent house.

She could hear neither music nor any conversation coming from any of the rooms. The maids should have been dusting the foyer and stairs today. Due to the manner in which she and Erik had parted perhaps they had taken cover in fear of a battle Royal coming their way. She could hardly contain herself. She wanted to race around calling to Erik. She had missed him more than ever before. A month without his face or voice had seemed an eternity. If he had missed her only half as much there could be hope for them yet.

Taking off her gloves and hat Meg stalled for time. She could take her valise upstairs to her room. It weighed very little. No need to disturb one of the servants for something so small. Later she could inform them of her arrival. For now she would sneak up to her room to give her time to get her racing heart under control. She had barely taken a step toward the staircase when Erik's voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Not even coming in to say hello after such a long time away? I suppose it is no more than I should expect after my behavior during our last meeting."

Meg turned slowly around hoping Erik could not read the joy in her face upon hearing his voice once more. Dear Lord had any man ever sounded so…so wonderful even speaking of mundane things? Erik could seduce her with his voice had he but known it. The words would be meaningless for she would be listening and feeling his tone slither along every nerve ending. She felt the shiver race up and down her back as gooseflesh popped out on her arms.

When she faced him fully her mouth dried as if something had sucked every molecule of moisture from the inner recesses of her mouth. A month had done nothing to curb her silly reactions to Erik. If he put forth just a little effort to woe her, she would lay at his feet in supplication. It was a good thing he thought himself unattractive to women. Heaven help womankind if ever he learned just what he could do to them or at least her and Christine. Maman had even told her in the first years that Erik lived underneath the opera house she had felt stirrings for him herself. Meeting Meg's father had ended any girlish fantasies Antoinette may have had toward Erik. After Meg had been born and Antoinette's husband died, Erik had already begun to pull away from her. Christine's arrival had been the beginning of the end of any real closeness between Antoinette and Erik.

"Erik, stop that. I know you did not mean to push me so hard. I should never have tried to destroy your work. I know what Christine means to you and it was a cruel thing to do. I have long since forgiven you."

As Meg spoke she had been approaching Erik. When she stood in front of him Erik backed into the library so Meg could enter without chancing that she touch him as much as Erik would welcome any contact with Meg. He had been denied the lingering scent of her that hung in the air of every room she entered. After only one day he could find not one room which held her essence.

"So, if anger at my behavior did not lengthen your stay in Paris could there have been another reason?" That hint of another reason for Meg staying away because of Raoul's cousin had been as close as Erik would let himself go to ascertain whether or not Meg had any real interest in that other man.

Meg thought she detected what sounded like jealousy in Erik's tone. She chided herself for wishful thinking. Besides had she not decided any feelings on her part were so much wasted emotion where Erik was concerned? It would seem her heart had other ideas on the matter.

"I did enjoy the company of Christine, Raoul and…" Meg paused so long Erik took a step toward her ready to shake the rest out of her.

When she remained mute Erik coaxed her irritation filling his voice, "And?" He wanted to shout, "Come on woman, out with it. You have found someone who has drawn your fancy."

"Well I did meet a charming man, Raoul's cousin in fact. We went about Paris quite often. He was a most charming companion. He indicated he would not mind in the least sharing more of my company."

"I'll bet he did." Erik whispered the words under his breath so Meg had to lean forward to hear and then she could not understand what he said clearly.

"Erik let us go take a seat in the library. I have things to tell you that would be better spoken of behind closed doors and away from any ears that might overhear anything."

A request for privacy had never been a lead in to anything pleasant in Erik's experience. He dreaded having to sit quietly while Meg informed him that she would be returning to Paris as this new man in her life had won her affections. He strode into the room first disregarding any gentlemanly manners in lieu of what he thought would be a painful discussion. He could almost hear Meg letting him down easily as she told him that no longer could she tolerate him or his horrid temper. When she rushed past him to go into the newly glassed in atrium Erik watched with pleasure as Meg spun around taking everything in. She placed her hands over her mouth to hold back the happy tears and the small sob working its way up her throat.

"How…why…Oh Erik it is simply beautiful. When did you dream this up? The last time I saw you the only thing I could imagine you creating had much darker implications than this sunny place conducive to nothing but relaxation and enjoyment."

"As to why well it suited my purpose to have it as I plan to begin experimenting with growing new varieties of roses." Erik hoped that led her away from thinking he had done any of it with her pleasure in mind.

"Roses? Oh…oh I see." Meg's enthusiasm began to wane as the true implication of his creation began to filter into her brain. He would grow roses as that had been the gift he had left for Christine after every success she ever made in the opera house he would leave a perfect red rose tied with a black ribbon as a token of his admiration and pride in her. He had never left Meg or anyone else so much as a weed. She remembered all those times she practiced until her toes bled hoping some unseen genius would take her under his wing as one had come to Christine. Never a word of praise had been given to Meg. Over the years she had begun to think herself not worthy of anyone's admiration. Christine's Angel using his power to her betterment had left Meg with the feeling she would always have something lacking in her talent.

"Well it is beautiful and I hope you do not intend to boot me out of the library to take it for your own. I know how you hate to share your space with anyone. I have been forbidden entrance into your music room unless invited. I would hate to be ousted from my favorite room in the house."

"I suppose your presence would not be too intrusive. I shall allow you to continue to use it as you wish, but invade my privacy once and out you shall go." Erik cursed his need to feel superior. He could not seem to ever show any kinder feelings toward anyone, especially since Christine's betrayal. He wanted to tell Meg she had inspired the room but thought it best not to let her know how much he had come to want and need her presence.

Knowing she could not delay informing of Christine's imminent arrival Meg asked him to take a seat with her on the settee. Erik felt his nerves come to attention. Meg usually sat as far from him as possible. In the beginning he had given her reason to wish to have distance from him as his temper had been unpredictable while agony ate into his soul over his lost love. Thinking about his last time with Meg he could not think why she would even trust being in the same room with him. Meg had said she did not hold him to blame for his violence toward her but he held himself accountable.

Once they were seated Meg turned toward Erik wondering if having taken a seat so close to him had been such a brilliant idea after all. Sighing for her doubt Meg began to tell Erik just who had come back with her and that they would be arriving for afternoon tea tomorrow.

Erik sat as if he had been pole axed. Upon hearing Christine's name in conjunction with Meg telling him she would be expecting to stay for a couple of weeks he nearly asphyxiated himself as his breath locked in his chest. He felt the fog overtaking him as his head began to swirl about as if disconnected from his shoulders. When his eyes clouded with grey he felt certain he would faint. Meg grabbing his arm giving him a hard shake drew him back into the here and now. He would compose himself then Meg would damn well tell him what this was all about. How dare she bring Christine here just when he felt that his obsession with her may well be coming to an end. Erik cursed the fates for putting his newfound surety of some burgeoning attraction for Meg to the test. Did she do this to taunt and test him? The wicked woman would pay for her folly if he learned that to be the case. He would not let her trifle with his affections. His heart was weary of never having anything tender to sustain it. He began to work himself up into one of his angry tirades. He felt the boiling in his blood as his rage rose to the surface. A veil of red drifted over his vision. If Meg were half as intelligent as he thought she would leave now as he felt sure she could see the monster in him beginning to raise his ugly head.

As she continued to sit looking for all the world as if she felt sympathy for him, Erik mentally said to hell with it all, let things unfurl as they would.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I had to change some things in this chapter to fit the story. Mainly Christine already has a child and in the chapter I replaced it had her referring to future children. Sorry for the confusion. Hopefully I fixed the error properly. **

**Chapter Four**

**Trials of an Angel**

Meg could see Erik's ire building to the point her would near explode when he let everything out. He would at times lose sight of time and place as his rage spewed such awful words as well as dire threats for anyone and everyone who had ever done him some wrong. She wanted to run when Erik had one of these fits. They were far worse than his usual shouting and ranting. During these unbridled fits of pure hate and rage Meg doubted Erik could differentiate between friend or foe. To date she had managed to stay her feet and weather the storms. She hoped today would have the same end. Hoping to calm him Meg placed her hand carefully over Erik's clenched fist. She tried to infuse as much calming influence into her words as she could.

"Erik, please, do not let yourself go into that dark place which takes you into its grasp so completely. I did not do this to hurt or humiliate you. I did it so you could face Christine and perhaps find some peace. You know in your heart I would never deliberately hurt you or endanger Christine to one of your moments of sheer rage. Erik, have you not suffered enough? Is it not time to begin anew? Leave all that came before behind you. There is such a wonderful world with endless possibilities. All you have to do Erik is grasp onto what is offered and let old hurts and sorrows be buried. I know they cannot be forgotten but they can be put in a place where they can no longer hurt you."

Cautiously Meg lifted her free hand to Erik's face. He jerked away at her first touch. It was always the same. Any attempt of hers to touch him would be rejected when it came to his face. It had taken persistence for him to even allow her to touch any part of him without a violent response. Meg could only imagine what horrors Erik had suffered over the course of his life to leave him afraid of human touch. Letting him accustom himself to the knowledge she would not hurt him she continued with her intent to place her hand on Erik's face.

She could not help but notice the blissful look upon his face once he felt the softness of her skin upon his own after his initial shocked reaction. His eyes had closed upon her first tender caress. He seemed almost to purr as Meg slowly began to move her hand over his face. Watching intently Meg began to see the rage drain out of him. His body began to relax. She murmured nonsensical things to him. It did not matter the content as long as she kept that pleasing tone. She would have taken greater liberties but felt now not to be the time to test Erik's willingness to explore one another more fully. A step at time she kept reminding herself.

Already she had forgotten her resolve to move on from her useless infatuation with Erik. Once within his sphere of influence everything receded but the two of them. With all her heart she wished it could be the same for Erik.

"Erik do you feel better? More in control? I would not want your first meeting with Christine after so long a time to be anything less than pleasant, or at least as pleasant as present circumstances permit."

Erik released his breath he had been holding since Meg touched him. She had surprised him when he felt the soft palm of her hand on his face. His reaction had been one ingrained in him since the first cruel hand knocking him about the face as a child. Over the years the treatment he received from others had only increased his negative response to any attempt to touch him. Only when he wished to win Christine had he let down his guard. Look what a disaster that had been. With Meg he felt total security. Never would she harm him. With his mind he knew that but instincts built over time had him jerking away from her. Once he had accustomed himself to expect her touch such rapturous emotions had gone throughout his body at that initial tentative caress. If he could have frozen time he would have. When she reminded him of the reason for his anger Erik had felt a slight feeling of intrusion when he contemplated seeing Christine again.

After his shock had dissipated the anger had begun. Little else could infiltrate his mind until Meg's touch had driven the rising monster back into hiding. Erik marveled that Meg was able to do this simply with a soft touch.

"I…I think I am ready now to receive my guest when she comes. How…how is she? Does she fare well?" Even having come to the decision to let Christine go fully did not preclude his wish to be certain she was happy in her choice. If for one second he saw any disharmony in her from anything that boy had done, Erik would be whisking Christine away to parts unknown before anyone could be the wiser.

Erik may be coming to terms with losing Christine but could not let her go completely as of yet. Had she not been his sole focus for so many years? A person could not be expected to relinquish such a longstanding bond with another easily. For a man who had so few such bonds to lose one would cause such a rift in his soul that it might never be repaired.

"Erik you have all night to think on things. Plan what you will say and the questions you will ask. Christine is anxious to see you. She felt your separation nearly as badly as you did. Erik for all your subterfuge and lies you told to her, Christine holds you dearly in her heart. You must not ever think she took your regard for her lightly. Indeed she feels your bond with her even now. She has never spoken of you in anything other than high regard and respect. For all the things you did wrong Erik comforting Christine as a child was not one of them.

You can be proud of the influence you have had on making her the woman she is now. My sister is without doubt one of the most loving, kind and thoughtful creatures I know. In part this is due to the care you have given her over the years. Maman and I did our best to give Christine a sense of family over the years but her Angel of Music let her have a small link to her dead father.

Meg paused to consider her next words before she spoke. When she did it was with conviction mixed with jealousy she hid very well as she said, "Christine does love you Erik, believe that if you believe nothing else I say. Love has many forms and what Christine feels for you is complicated yet simple. Raoul has the larger portion of her heart. You Erik will always carry a small part of it wherever you go." Meg felt the twisting pain in her own heart as the truth of what she said rammed into her mind with such force it nearly knocked her sideways.

Erik felt such confusing thoughts and feelings vying for supremacy inside him. He loved Christine but felt something, some connection to Meg. In her presence Erik felt more man than monster. He did not feel the need to go to ground taking her with him. He wanted to be with Meg he felt certain but in exactly what capacity he had yet to decide. His last foray into the arena of romance had been disastrous to say the least. At this moment he could not honestly say just how deeply his feelings for Meg were they had crept up on him so subtly he had no chance to prepare for the ensuing deluge of emotions. His body seemed to have some misfire in its circuitry when in her presence. Garnering all his resolve Erik informed Meg he would welcome his guests tomorrow with an open mind. He would temper his less than cordial emotions.

Once she had Erik's assurance he would not let fly with his usual disregard for others she called the staff together to inform them of impending guests. That little announcement left everyone stunned and speechless. Rooms were made ready. Meg made certain Christine had a room next to her own. If Erik went meandering around in the night Meg felt certain she would hear him. Had she not become attuned to every nuance about the man? Contrary to her belief she would sleep poorly Meg had a most restful night. She awoke refreshed and eager to face the day.

Erik had slept little as his thoughts had chased themselves around in vicious circles all night long. Images of Christine and Meg floated around not leaving him in peace. Meg more often entered strangely sensual dreams that had in the last year only been Christine as the woman Erik ravished in his more erotic moments. Now the woman appeared to be Meg.

He hoped that once face to face with Christine he could at last put her in a proper place as he would never have her as he had wished. Lost loves should be remembered but not at the cost of never letting go so one could find another who could fill the empty places left by that lost love. Erik tired of always feeling as if a piece of him had been ripped out never to be replaced. He wanted to be whole again. Never had he felt any sense of peace in is life but for those years when Christine had come into his life he felt close to being a complete person. Not even his music could give him that. The philosophers believed everyone had a half of their soul wandering around the earth only waiting to find one another. To have only half a soul Erik knew to be a miserable existence. At one time he felt as if he had no soul left at all. That had been his darkest days of hell on earth.

Both Erik and Meg had risen long before there was a need to get out of bed. They encountered one another just at the head of the stairs. Erik had bowed stoically and waved his hand graciously for Meg to precede him. When their footsteps headed in the same direction Meg could only feel gratitude for a kind fate. She wanted to have Erik to herself this morning as much as she could. Perhaps if she filled his head with pleasant memories of them together just before Christine's arrival Erik may be able to think of her instead of only Christine.

She felt somewhat childish for wishing now that some storm or other would spring up suddenly preventing Christine's arrival. All last night Meg had lain thinking while she regretted bringing Christine into Erik's life once more. It was inevitable they should meet but Meg now felt perhaps she should have waited until she and Erik had a chance to strengthen and explore this new relationship they had only recently discovered. On Meg's part the feelings had been in place long before Erik felt even the slightest warmth toward her. Even now she could not say Erik displayed anything other than tolerance toward her. At best she could claim some bit of friendliness toward her, most of the time anyway.

The time seemed to pass quickly as Erik proudly showed Meg every little detail of the room he had designed and constructed in her absence. Meg had teased that she would be making longer forays to Paris if such wonders would be waiting for her at home. She had missed Erik's blanching as her back was turned toward him. Just the mention of Meg leaving left Erik feeling bereft and the damn woman still stood by his side. What had he become that he let two diminutive women hold such sway over him? Where had all of his power and fear engendering aura disappeared to in such a short time?

The servant coming in to inform them a carriage had been seen coming down the drive had both occupants in the room standing stock still with bated breath. Meg recovered first. She went to greet Christine and Aubrey out front. Fear gripped her insides but no one could guess from Meg's calm exterior.

Just as the coach came to a halt Meg felt Erik sidle just behind the door. She almost chastised him for being melodramatic. For Erik hiding in the shadows had always been second nature. To observe potential enemies had been a natural response to anyone coming within spitting distance of him.

Aubrey stepped out of the carriage first as the driver went to set their luggage down on the gravel. Meg waited only long enough for Christine to set foot on the drive before she went to hug her warmly as she whispered in her ear that Erik was just behind the door. Meg didn't want Erik to cause Christine any undue distress with his cloak and dagger tactics.

Erik felt the catch in his chest as Christine alighted from the carriage. The two women embracing were a contrast in colors as well as personality. Christine was the dark shades of autumn while Meg was the bright light of summer. While Christine had always been a quiet child Meg had run about the opera house at full speed shouting to all she passed. Her exuberance had sheltered Christine once they had become friendly and Meg had gotten over her jealousy of Christine's intrusion into her relationship with Meg's mother.

Erik had never taken note of how often Meg had taken on the blame for things Christine had done. Christine wilted at the slightest rise in a person's voice. Meg stood her ground giving back as good as one gave. Meg leading Christine into the house loosened Erik's feet from where they had seemed to be glued. Now he all but ran back to the sanctuary of the atrium. He hoped to still his pounding heart before he must face Christine.

Erik opted to stand rather than sit as his height would give him the advantage over those of shorter stature. He frowned in irritation as Meg took the hand of the man who accompanied Christine. No doubt this would be the, oh so perfect de Chagny cousin. Erik could not miss the likeness of the man before him to that of Raoul or from the man in the papers. It did not earn the man any favor with Erik that he stood within an inch of Erik's own 6'4" height. The idiotic congenial smile upon the man's face further alienated Erik. Meg introduced him as Monsieur Aubrey de Chagny.

Erik ignored the man's outstretched hand merely bowing with ill grace toward him with barely an acknowledgement of his presence. Christine's gasped "Angel" drew all eyes to her. She blushed furiously to have spoken to the man she knew as her tutor in the old familiar way. She had never called him Erik to his face. She had not seen or heard his voice since she and Raoul had left the underbelly of the opera house.

She had dreamt of him often over the last few months. The dreams had been coming less often as time passed. Now with his magnificence right before her once more Christine wondered how she could have begun to forget just how powerful his mere presence was. He could lure her with just his voice. When he sang to her Christine had always felt her will seeping away. She became his to control had he but known it. Raoul's coming back into her life had lessoned her Angel's influence over her.

"Christine." Erik could speak not one word more as Christine gazed back at him in the way she always had. She had always relinquished every bit of herself to him to do with as he wished. He had never used that against her until Raoul had come between them.

"Christine, Erik I believe the two of you wish to catch up on everything that has been happening since you last saw one another. Aubrey and I will make ourselves comfortable out in the new atrium Erik constructed during my absence. I have not had time to fully appreciate all its hidden wonders just yet. I took the liberty of asking for a pot of tea as well as some refreshing lemonade. Erik if you will excuse us we will wait while you have your visit. If you need anything, anything at all we are just but a call away."

Erik felt Meg stressed her closeness to the library for Christine's benefit as well as his own. Did she think he would harm Christine? Erik could never imagine doing any intentional harm to his little Angel. A few times he had let his anger outweigh his good sense and had in his anger knocked her to the floor. One of those times had been to the stone floor of his home underneath the opera house. Christine had ripped his mask from his face just as she caressed him with such a loving hand. She had lulled him into a euphoric state of bliss causing him to be unprepared for her thoughtless action.

He had apologized profusely and thought she had truly forgiven him as her actions had been questionable. She should never have taken off his mask without his permission. No one touched his face without due harm unless Erik permitted it.

As Meg and de Chagny left he unconsciously took a position near the doors to the atrium so he could see Meg as well as that young pup with her. When Meg went behind plants that were tall enough to hide her from his sight Erik came to the conclusion those plants should be placed somewhere else for better effect.

"Angel, I…I mean Erik. Oh it is so good to see you. I apologize for the slip. It is so hard for me to think of you as anything other than my Angel of Music. I have known you as thus far longer than I have known your name to be Erik. Meg does chastise me whenever I make the mistake of using your old persona. You have a true champion in Meg. She has been filling me and Maman in on your progress. She has nothing but wonderful things to say about you. I do think she knows you far better than I even though you and I have had a relationship far longer than you and she."

Christine felt just a little niggle of jealousy enter her as she spoke of Erik and Meg's new found closeness. Christine had always been the only one that Erik spoke to as a companion and friend. Later he had wanted more, more than she could give. It pained Christine to hear from Meg how much Erik still suffered her loss. If she could change anything for the better she would but not to the point of losing anything she had with Raoul. Raoul had become her whole life.

If Christine were perfectly honest it had been a boon to her that her Angel still pined for her. In the back of her mind she would know she always had someone she could run to if life became too difficult. She now knew a little of how Erik felt when she had been the sole focus of his attention. That is how she felt about Raoul. She prayed that by the end of this visit she could help Erik move on. Christine had gotten the impression Meg would not be adverse to Erik's attentions.

Meg would be perfect for Erik. Meg was kind of nature, outgoing, loving, willing to do almost anything to make others feel better about themselves. Anyone who came within Meg's aura could not help but be lifted by her exuberance toward life. Christine tried to shove the little prick of jealousy the thought of Erik with someone else caused back into hiding.

"How…how have you been Christine? Are…are you…has that boy made you happy?" Erik felt as if her were choking. His throat tightened with all the emotions he felt. Every moment he had ever spent with Christine played clearly across his inner eye as if it were only now happening. Each moment in time seemed precious to him. He could not help but wonder if Christine remembered him as he remembered her.

"Oh Erik Raoul is wonderful. He is kind and always patient with my immature ways. He encourages me to expand my knowledge. He does not mind one bit if I improve my mind. He even said he would be willing to support me if I wished to return to the stage. I don't think I will as being his wife takes so much of my time. I don't think I will as being his wife takes so much of my time. Later…well once our son, my son is older I may take to the stage again.." Christine did not tell him that she named her son after him. On this one thing she had stood adament. The man who gave her solace as a child deserved some sort of recognition for what he had done. It didn't seem the right time to mention this tribute after regaling him with her happiness while he suffered so.

Christine could not bear the pain she saw clearly etched across Erik's face. She cursed her thoughtless chattering. She could simply have told him she was happy without elaborating. As much as Christine had wanted to see her Angel once more she had been ill-prepared for the meeting. All those strange feelings in her stomach came fluttering back to life within only a few seconds in his company.

This man, Erik, had more power over her than she felt comfortable with. She was well aware how Meg felt about Erik. At first Christine had been jealous to think her angel could possibly be interested in anyone other than herself. It had finally dawned on her feeble brain that Erik and Meg would be good for one another. Wouldn't they? Christine tried to shove out her doubtful thoughts, or more aptly, her hopeful expectations. Why could she not simply be happy for him without all this second guessing her intentions and emotions?

Christine may in her deepest part of her soul resent Erik finding someone else but also she cared enough for him to want him to find happiness, if it could not be with her, then with someone worthy of him. Meg she felt would be able to handle Erik. She had managed all these months and lived to tell the tale. Christine ignored the little darts of resentment she felt thinking of Erik and Meg together. The burning in her chest lodged near her heart and stayed there increasing her discomfort with each new thought of Erik and Meg together in some intimate embrace.

The little daggers sticking into Erik's heart upon every word of her happiness without him drew a little bit more of Erik's blood. Much more and he felt his life would drain away. What had he expected, that she would rush to him declaring she could not live a moment longer without him? Had he really thought she would leave that boy? Erik cursed the power Christine had over him. Why had he let her imbed her tentacles into his flesh and heart so completely?

He should have known to keep his heart intact, free from foolish encumbrances that would only lead to disappointment. Had not his life shown him that nothing good would ever be his? Fleetingly Meg's smiling face flashed into his mind. He felt a measure of comfort with that little reminder of a woman who had shown him more kindness and tolerance than anyone in his life ever had. Even when he had been at his worst she had stood by until his rage had passed then calmly set about restoring order as well as speaking words of comfort in her soft melodic voice. If anyone he had ever known deserved the title of angel it was Meg. She had truly been proven a saintly godsend for him.

Tears were not far away. Erik fought back those weak droplets that would prove him to be a lesser man than others. He had done enough sobbing in Christine's presence to last him a lifetime. He'd not unman himself in that way again. He sought the anger in him against Christine and Raoul. He began to recount every transgression, every slap in the face. Most infuriating of all was to recall Christine's betrayal of him in front of half of Paris. Nothing she had done could have crushed his spirit to greater effect than to remove his mask. Willfully she had exposed his shame before them with no thought as to how devastating the action would be. She had to know that would render the deepest wound.

"I am glad to hear of how happy you are. You will be gratified to know I too have been able to move past my little obsession. You can't imagine how relieved I am not to be burdened with the chains of unrequited love around me. I am free from that madness, for madness is all it was, or more precisely desperation. You need have no more concern or worry about poor, dear, monstrous Erik. He will manage quite nicely without you."

Erik was rewarded for his crass attitude by Christine's crestfallen face. Did she think him incapable of ridding himself of her shackles around his heart and soul? Perhaps she had pictured him years from now a doddering old man still pining for his love. His heart did still feel held by her delicate hands but in time that would lesson, he hoped. Surely time would weaken the hold she had on him, although Erik was not quite as confident as he had hoped he would be. Even if that might be the reality of it Erik would not let a hint of that possibility come to light. He'd not grovel or play the pitiful creature of darkness for her ever again. With each remembered rejection Christine's power over him lessoned and he could feel a lightening within him. Was this what it felt like to rid oneself of a debilitating burden?

"I…I am quite relieved that…that you have recovered so quickly," Christine lied as she held back her tears. She had expected to find him morose and heartbroken as Meg had told her he was. He seemed to not care one way or another if she were here or not. Christine felt the first trickle of a tear roll down her cheek. She had lost the affections of her Angel. She did not think she could bear it if he were to abandon her altogether.

Christine selfishly expected Erik to still be willing to grovel at her feet for any scrap she would throw at him. He had always been ready to praise her, compliment her. She could always count on his wholehearted support of her. For him to be so cruel now shattered the illusion she held complete power over him. She had thought he would always belong to her. She had Raoul but her Angel was someone special. He had been only for her as her father had promised. Even if he had turned out to be only a man Christine still believed he had been sent to her as a guide and guardian. If she had developed feelings for him that was to be expected as Erik as her Angel had been commanding figure with a dark sensual appeal.

Erik had to turn away from Christine as he saw that first tear glistening on her lashes. When it rolled slowly down her cheek he had to grip his hands into fists to stay the hand that wanted to brush away her tears then promise he would never abandon her. Whenever she needed him or wanted him, he would be there for her. If he was to live a somewhat contented life he must break the bond between them. Erik felt as if he might die with the aching he felt tightening the muscles around his heart. If he did not end this quickly he would be at her feet begging her to let him serve as a dog at her feet.

No! He would not place himself in her careless hands again. He may love her still, he may always love her but he could not go through that again. This time he knew for certain it was a hopeless cause as she loved Raoul and had bound herself to him in marriage. Curtly Erik wished her well then exited the room quickly before his resolve dissolved as he heard her sobbing openly now. His step faltered for a second then he heard Meg's laughter coming from the sitting room. Meg and her guest must have slipped through the side doors then entered the sitting room.

His steps detoured from going toward the stairs to take him to the door of the sitting room. He stood looking in at the couple. They seemed quite happy to be together. Erik felt an odd stirring within him as he watched Meg place her hand on de Chagny's forearm. He felt the urge to rip that man's arm completely from his body rising within him. He swallowed down the threatening words that wanted to spill out.

Raoul had brought out this same uncontrolled rage. Perhaps not so uncontrollable now as Erik did not attack the man with his Punjab. Erik's hand went to where normally he would have kept that thin lethal weapon. The pocket was empty as he knew it would be. He might have need of it another time. Erik reminded himself to begin carrying his weapon of choice once again.

Catching Meg's smiling glance at him Erik held his breath for a moment as he looked into her innocent eyes. He saw only an open kindness staring back at him. No fear, no hate, and no horror. Even after what he had done to her she had come back willing to forgive him. She had not said the words but he could see it there in her eyes looking back at him. Something else lay hidden behind all that emotion shining out of her eyes. He dearly wished he could read her mind.

Determination in every step Erik stepped into his sitting room. He'd be damned if he went into hiding in his own home while he had guests. Erik's mind froze for a moment savoring that thought. He, the former Phantom and Opera Ghost had guests. Not an angry mob come to kill him, not the Gypsies to put him in a cage, not any of those people in his life who would do him harm unless he took action first.

Today he was…for the first time Erik would be a host. People were in his home under his good graces. If he chose not to receive them he could have them tossed out on their ear. That thought brought a wide smile to Erik's lips. Striding with more confidence Erik nodded toward Meg and de Chagny. He took a seat as close to Meg without being obvious he was staking his claim to her.

Meg blinked to see Erik with an actual smile on his face. She could never get him to smile. He might chuckle halfheartedly at times but never did he let pure joy in anything show through his grime façade. It pleased her that his first real smile had been directed at her. She in return gave him a blindingly bright grin in return. Erik sat back ready to enjoy himself. From the look of Meg's response to him she was pleased with his cordiality to his guest.

Perhaps Erik would not Punjab the man. Meg would not approve. He would much rather have Meg's highest regard than rid himself of a riv…Erik stopped that thought before it could finish playing across his mind. Did he think of this man as his rival? Stealing a look at Meg his heart tripped at Meg's expression which was trained directly on him. It almost seemed…could that be affection he saw shining back at him? Erik felt foolishly giddy. He chastised himself. A man did not become giddy. He tried to keep a stern look on his face but his mouth would not cooperate whenever he caught Meg's glancing in his direction, which to him seemed more often than not.

Neither Meg nor Erik took notice of Aubrey making his own assessments and judgments. While carrying on with the conversation Aubrey would cast a discerning glance at one then the other. More often than not they were engrossed in one another even when speaking to him. Interesting to say the least. He'd keep his eyes and ears open. Raoul had not known of this new wrinkle when he had enlisted Aubrey to accompany Meg and Christine on this mission. Things would definitely not be boring.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

**Letting go and Holding On**

Christine had joined them about fifteen minutes after Erik. He had made Christine's excuses for her. Feeling somewhat guilty without wanting to, Erik told them Christine had not felt well and needed to take a few minutes to refresh herself before rejoining them. When Meg would have gone to Christine Erik told her Christine had asked that they not worry. A few moments alone were all she needed. The long journey on top of the emotional upheaval had taken its toll. He did not add that her distress had been because of him.

Meg looked at Erik doubtfully. Christine had seemed fine when she went to join him in the library. She had even seemed eager to speak to him alone. This was bound to happen when the two of them reunited but still it bothered Meg that the two of them could hurt one another even after so much time had passed. Erik had more than likely been cruel to protect himself. Meg had not wanted either of them to be hurt but this confrontation had been needed for both of them. Christine could not continue to think that if anything went wrong in her life between her and Raoul she had this devoted man waiting in the wings to save her if things did not go as she wished. It was not fair to Erik for her to keep his affections while breaking his heart. Erik had needed to let Christine go. He may not ever get over her completely as first love is often the one remembered with a jaundiced eye. No matter how bitter the ending it is the times in the beginning we tend to remember the most.

Meg's first real love unfortunately for her had been Erik. She had never felt for any man what Erik could wring out of her without trying. He could melt her with a look even if he was scowling at her. When he spoke she had to keep a severe hold on her emotions and thoughts. Everything parading through her mind centered on the bedroom and illicit things she wished to do to him and have done to her. Meg recalled many uncomfortable conversations with Erik that she had to excuse herself or do something embarrassing for herself and Erik, more humiliating on her part though.

Christine joined them a few minutes later looking as if she had had a good cry. Who could miss the red eyes or red nose? Holding out her hand toward Christine Meg had patted the seat beside her. After that first meeting of the eyes Christine would not look at Meg again.

Aubrey bless him was too much of a gentleman to let on that anything was amiss. Christine had no doubt that Aubrey had been informed of all that had happened in Paris between Raoul, Erik and herself. Being the gentleman he was he would never bring up the subject so long as he knew it would cause anyone discomfort. Christine could not help the thought that it would be wonderful if Meg took a shine to Aubrey. She really must work on this nasty jealous streak in her. It was silly and childish and served no useful purpose. For the sake of everyone she must let go of Erik completely. If Meg wanted Erik and he returned her feelings then she should have him.

Meg had to give Raoul credit. He had not told Aubrey anything horrendous about Erik as Aubrey had not even brought a weapon should Erik show his darker side. Raoul had merely asked for his cousin to closely watch over the two women as if they were his own dear sisters. If she was on the wrong side of Erik Meg thought she might pack a full artillery of weapons. Erik was a formidable man in any circumstances. When angered he could be very dangerous. His mind worked like a steal trap.

Meg left the two men to speak about the political intricacies of the world and various other matters she would normally be interested in discussing herself. Right at this moment Christine needed her support. Attempting to ease the palpable tension in the room Meg addressed Christine trying to draw her out. It hurt Meg to see Christine so distressed. She would love to know just exactly what had taken place when Erik and Christine had been left alone in that room.

"So Christine, tell me, what do you think of Erik's home? It looks wonderful now but was a bit run down when he bought it. I must say that I fell in love with this place the moment I saw it. Erik has done wonders with everything. The atrium he built while I was gone is only one of the marvelous things Erik is capable of. Of course you know of his composing as well as his splendid voice but did you know Erik is an inventor and is quite a talented architect?"

Fascinated by what Meg revealed Christine merely shook her head. If nothing else could point out that she and Erik knew very little about one another it was the fact that Meg knew so much and in such a short time.

"I was simply amazed when I learned that a lot of the artwork and statuary was created with Erik's talents. I should have known how talented he is creating beautiful things. I have seen all those drawings he had done of you over the years. I was quite jealous let me tell you. I think it is a great compliment when an artist commits your likeness to paper." Meg brushed her hand down over her already smooth skirts as she paused to cast a look in Erik's direction. It still bothered her that Erik had never drawn any likeness of her, at least not any that she knew of. On the other hand he had hundreds of poses of Christine. Some she hoped were only drawn from his imagination and not from actual observation as they were quite provocative.

Erik feeling Meg's gaze looked in her direction while still listening to Aubrey continue to make his point about the current stat of affairs in the world. The smile Meg gave him nearly stopped his heart then had it hammering in his chest like a sledge hammer beating against a rock. He felt the vibrations all through his body. He began to feel a warm flush suffuse his face and neck. Other parts of him took on extra blood supply in a crass reaction to her continued look in his direction. Erik felt confusing emotions swamping him along with the normal male reaction to an attractive woman.

His eyes began to move from Meg to Christine then back again. The contrast between the two women was quite evident. One woman so light and fair, with confidence radiating from every pore, the other woman dark with deep depths of confusion in her eyes as well as some sort of sadness. Erik imagined he had a lot to do with Christine's confusion and sadness. He felt guilt for his actions over the years toward Christine but none so great as for what he had done in the most recent periods of their acquaintance.

His manipulation of Christine's malleable mind all those years had to have left some mark in her psyche. As he looked at Christine's red rimmed eyes and sad face he felt a wave of tenderness come over him. He should apologize for his harshness in dealing with her. He had not meant to cause her any pain. His objective had been to secure a release from the hold she had on him. He had hoped to unbind the chains that bound them together so they both could be free to move on without regrets or looking back on their parting with doubts.

Erik thought that Raoul would be far better for Christine than he could ever be. She always wilted under his temper whereas Meg always let him spit fire until his anger slowly burned out. Once his anger had been spent she calmly but firmly put him in his place.

Meg caught Erik's tender look he cast toward Christine. If he ever once looked at her like that there would be no stopping her from showing him exactly how she felt about him. She contemplated doing so anyway and taking her chances. What kept her from acting so foolish was the chance that he would not return her feelings. If she ever declared herself to Erik and he did reject her Meg would have to return to France and would never wish to see Erik ever again.

After leaving to go to their rooms everyone separated to rest or do as they wished until dinner. Meg wanted to change her dress and bathe. She had not missed how elegant Christine had looked. What woman worth her salt would not want to try to impress the man she wanted to attract? Meg may not be as beautiful as Christine but she wasn't the Ugly Duckling either.

Meg chose a gown that gave her light coloring an ethereal look. She had gathered her air and pinned it so that the hair she had gathered into the hair clip hung down to her waist with little curling tendrils on both sides of her temples and at her ears. She looked much like Aphrodite must have looked when she worked her magic on mortal men.

The reaction Meg had received from Erik and Aubrey boosted her morale. Christine looked lovely in her blue silk gown. She looked a little less sad this evening. Meg had spoken to her earlier trying to ease Christine's melancholy mood before she went into one of her depressions. She had not been overly coddling toward Christine. That was not what her sister needed. Christine needed to know just what she would be losing if she pursued this childish infatuation for Erik.

Meg had told Christine in the plainest terms just what she would lose and what she might or might not gain. Erik at the best of times could be unpredictable. That he had some romantic feelings for Christine Meg did not doubt. Meg felt sure both Erik and Christine had built their tenuous relationship on a house of cards. One little slip and the whole thing would tumble into a heap of ruin.

Despite Erik being a man of thirty plus years in maturity at times he seemed a mere boy. His life underneath the opera house had not allowed for him to grow from boyhood to manhood in the normal way. Erik had no father figure to model himself after. Erik's whole existence after he had left the fair had been one of selfish indulgence. In his childhood he had had so little that once he came into power at the opera house Erik had become somewhat of a despot. His power over Christine had been complete until Raoul had made his reappearance in her life. Meg could remember how confused and nervous Christine had been during those dark days. Erik had a lot to answer for. He did seem willing to take the blame for what he had done.

Much to Meg's amazement Erik treated Aubrey cordially. He even went so far as to engage in a civil conversation with the man. Meg could not keep the delight she felt from showing on her face. She knew she must be grinning like a Cheshire cat but could not keep her pleasure from showing. Whenever her glance met Erik's he did seem to curl the left side of his mouth upward just the tiniest bit. Rarely had Meg seen Erik smile. When he did grace her with a full grin he nearly took her breath away.

Meg could not help but admire Erik and compare him to Aubrey. For a man who had been hidden away in the bowels of the earth, Erik had taken care of himself very well. She could not help but notice his perfectly aligned teeth gleaming a brilliant white when he spoke. He had forgone wearing the wigs he wore during his reign as the Phantom. Meg had thought him very handsome with his dark black wig but his own dark brown hair, although thin on the right side seemed to beckon her fingers to slide through the silky strands. Whenever that lock of hair just at the front of his head fell onto his forehead Meg had to restrain her hand from reaching up so she could brush them back into place.

Meg watched and listened closely whenever Erik and Christine exchanged words. It did seem as though they had come to some mutual agreement. What it was Meg had no idea. Christine did not appear to be quite as sad as she had earlier in the day. Perhaps after she and Meg had spoken Christine had reevaluated her relationship with both Erik and Raoul. If it were Meg doing the choosing she had no doubt which man she would have at her side.

For Meg, Erik would be the right choice, for Christine Raoul was the one who would make her the happiest. Erik would run roughshod over Christine even if that was not his intention. Erik had developed such a strong personality it would take a stronger woman than Christine to meet him halfway. Meg had proven herself to be a worthy match for Erik over the past few months. She had learned how to deal with all the different aspects of his personality. At times she could even control him without it seeming as if she did so. With Erik everything was a delicate balance. He had to have a little leeway to let his own personality shine through but needed someone who could curtail his tendencies to grab at everything he wanted without regard for the feelings of those around him.

At the end of the evening Meg lingered once again after Christine and Aubrey had said their goodnights. Meg wanted to share a few intimate moments with Erik but unexpectedly she felt shy in his presence. Why she suddenly felt tongue-tied mystified her. She who had survived his rages nearly unscathed now felt nervous about how to let him know she would welcome any advance he might make.

Steeling a glance upward at Erik Meg caught her breath at the intensity of the look he gave her. Apparently he had been staring at her with single-minded concentration. When he took a couple of long legged strides in her direction Meg thought she might faint. So much for bravery when facing the lion on the prowl. Meg looked up into Erik's handsome face that at the moment had such a look of what Meg could only interpret as desire she nearly expired from the accelerated beat of her heart.

Erik's green eyes seemed to have a fire lit behind them, one which might shoot out and scorch her. Meg did not think she would mind being engulfed in those flames. Silently Erik extended his hand out toward Meg. He left it up to her to accept or decline his invitation to come to him. Erik may look as if he was in control but his insides felt jittery. If Meg refused his hand he thought he might once and for all crawl into some hole and bury himself for eternity.

Meg grasped Erik's hand eagerly. He pulled slightly to bring her up against him. Erik let his eyes roam over every inch of Meg's face. When he came to rest on her lips he could not stop the downward movement of his head if he had wanted to. He felt Meg lift up on her toes to meet his lips. The first touch of lip to lip was soft and sweet. Erik moved his lips in a caress against Megs. She gasped giving him access to her inner sweetness. Once they touched tongue to tongue neither could restrain the groan of need that worked its way up from their very core. As if on cue they both raised their hands to delve their fingers into those enticingly silky strands that had driven them crazy all night.

Erik removed the clips that held Meg's hair at the back of her head. As they dropped to the floor Erik ran his fingers through Meg's lustrous hair. He had never felt anything so soft and silky. The fragrance of those golden strands intoxicated him. He could not resist burying his face in the nape of Meg's neck so he could inhale her very essence.

With tender caresses Meg explored Erik as she had longed to do. His hair was just as wonderful to touch as she had thought it would be. The texture of his skin was both soft and hard. She let her hand discover the bristles of his end of the day beard. Meg felt the tickle of them against her fingers and the palm of her hand. In her mind she imagined them against other parts of her. Her mind seemed all too ready to let her explore forbidden territory. Whether Erik knew it or not Meg knew it would be so easy for him to persuade her to abandon her morals giving into his persuasive allure. Erik had a heady affect on Meg, much as one on some narcotic would feel Meg imagined. He made her feel light headed, weak willed and craving more of his caresses. Her body clamored for bolder more intensive touches.

As Meg felt Erik's hand move to her breast she knew she must soon halt this or lose herself completely to his seductive power. She wanted to feel his hand on her skin to skin so she allowed him to loosen her top and the ribbons laces of her corset. Even as inexperienced as Meg was she knew Erik had never done anything like this before. His fingers were clumsy and unsure. The shaking of his hands gave away his nervousness. Meg shivered when she felt his hand for the first time where no man had ever touched her or even set eyes upon that portion of her.

Just as she would have stayed his hand Erik lowered his head to engulf her nipple in his warm moist mouth. Meg nearly buckled at the knees the pleasure was so intense. Her mind began to fog wanting only to concentrate on all those new sensations Erik had invoked within her. Meg struggled to gain control. It wasn't easy by any means but she did at last clear her passion fogged mind to call a halt to any further seduction Erik may have in mind.

Meg placed her hands on either side of Erik's head and gently pushed him away as she said, "Stop Erik. Please stop now."

At first Erik did not comprehend what Meg had said as his whole focus had been on the delectable display before his eyes and the hitherto never experienced exchange of passion. Once Erik's mind took in her words an overwhelming shame as well as the hurt of her rejection overtook the passion haze he had been in. Erik stepped back from Meg ready to flee any further humiliation when she spoke once more.

Meg could see the hurt in Erik's eyes. He had misunderstood her meaning. She also interpreted the steps he took to distance himself from what he perceived as her rejection. Meg would not let Erik leave her without making it perfectly clear to him how she felt. If she had use terms used by those of lower class so be it. Meg could be quite graphic if need be thanks to growing up in an opera house where backstage sexual antics were the norm as well as the discussion of them.

Meg grabbed Erik's hands before he could turn and flee. "Erik no, don't leave just yet. You misunderstand me if you think I did not want or enjoy all you did. It may seem unladylike to speak so boldly but I must make you understand how I feel. I wanted your kisses. I want your lips and hands on my flesh, everywhere." Meg felt the heat rushing to her cheeks but now was not the time to give into the vapors or false modesty.

"Erik the only reason I stopped you from going further was because you have not resolved all of your issues with Christine."

"Meg I think I lo…" Meg would not let him finish that declaration.

"Erik until we can all be sure we can commit ourselves to one person we should not make any declarations that could led to further heartache. I know how I feel about you. Nothing will change that. Even if…even if your feelings turn out to be merely attraction for a convenient and willing woman mine will remain the same. Until you know for sure I will not go further than what we have shared tonight. That is not to say we must forgo all exchanges of affection. If we happen to be alone I would not spurn a kiss from you if you wish to share such a display of affection with me that is."

Erik could have persuaded Meg that he had put all thoughts of Christine behind him. Perhaps he had as he had earlier thought and so informed Christine. Then again maybe he had only reacted out of spite or some petty revenge for how she had treated him and his offer of love and devotion.

Meg had not come right out and declared that she loved him but she had not firmly slammed and locked the door on that either. With the mess he had been after Christine's rejection perhaps it would not hurt to once and for all either come to terms with loving Christine and living alone with that knowledge or finally laying the ghost of their short romance at last to rest in peace and move on with someone who did care for him without reservations. Someone who did not have prior attachments to claim any part of their heart.

Erik tentatively reached out for Meg. When she did not shy away from him, he pulled her toward him with one hand on her arm. Her skin felt so warm and soft beneath his. Erik could not resist running his hands up and down Meg's arms. She shivered and closed her eyes. A low rumble from her throat sounded almost as if Meg had begun to purr like a contented cat.

When Erik stepped closer to her then took her face between his hands Meg groaned out his name. Not Opera Ghost or Phantom. His given name, Erik, floated gently across his lips from hers. Erik could feel the acceleration of her heartbeats. Looking down he noticed neither of them had redone her corset or her dress buttons. Erik's own breath came much quicker as he gazed at her smooth creamy skin. He remembered vividly how it had felt under his fingers and mouth. He dare not venture there again or he would do something he would regret. He would take no chances on alienating Meg just when they were at last admitting to having some regard for one another.

Erik placed his lips on Meg's for one last fleeting kiss before he whispered hoarsely, "I shall do as you ask. I won't like it but I shall do it. Would you perhaps go for an early morning ride with me before breakfast? I promise to be on my best behavior. I will not do anything you do not want me to do."

"Erik somehow that does not reassure me as I don't think I can trust myself with you. You my dear Erik have more appeal than you are aware of. The good Lord only knows what sort of rake you would have been if you knew of your power over mere females. I will go with you tomorrow as I want to spend as much time with you as possible. I think it only fair I be allowed to show you what I can offer you so you can compare Christine and me. You hardly know either of us just as we hardly know you. For all the years you taught Christine the two of you really did not have a relationship that could be said to be normal. You did not exchange words other than cursory greetings and good-byes. Most of your time had been spent on the musical aspects between you and Christine. I can't say I will be pleased or not even slightly jealous but I would rather know now if you cannot let go of her completely. There is one other thing we have not addressed. Now I suppose would be a good time to tell you. You must not let your anger overcome your good sense when I tell you this bit of news Erik. No tantrums or destruction. If you feel your emotions overwhelming you I give you my permission to kiss me until your anger has passed. I am willing to make that sacrifice." Meg felt secure in Erik's affections enough to joke with him even knowing what she would say next might anger him.

Erik only listened with half his attention. The other half was occupied with the wonderful exploration of Meg's skin. Erik could not resist once again kissing those places his hands touched. He marveled that Meg let him do such intimate things to her.

"Raoul is coming here Erik. He and Maman are at the inn. Maman stayed behind to keep Raoul company. We did not feel it wise to spring him on you along with Christine."

Erik's exploration halted abruptly at the mention of Raoul's name. At first all the old animosity came boiling to the surface. Erik inhaled deeply. Meg's fragrance filled his senses bringing him back to the here and now. He pondered the emotions filling him at the moment. In Meg's presence Raoul did not seem too important or to indeed be of any concern to Erik. What had been anger toward the young man while they vied for Christine's hand had been the lustful yearnings of a man who had only ever loved one woman. Erik had taken all his rage out on Raoul for coming along ruining his chance for happiness.

Men and women everywhere suffer the same fate and most do not take such violent means to win the object of their affections as Erik had. It shamed him at times the lengths he had taken to gain Christine's affections only to lose her to another. As Erik looked into Meg's eyes and face which held innocence as well as earnest affection for him, he felt a shifting of something deep within him.

With almost complete certainty he thought what he felt were the pangs of true love. He did not have the feverish desperation he had felt when competing for Christine's love. Of course Erik did not have a competitor, at least her surmised Meg to be free of encumbrances. She had seemed to be only on friendly terms with Aubrey.

Erik would swear that Meg was not the type to cavort with one man while having another man waiting in the wings. A dishonest person would not be able to look another in the eye while the lie slipped from their tongue. Meg held his gaze fixedly even if a little shyly. She did not look away from him when she spoke of her feelings.

Meg had begun to think Erik would not be answering he took so long to respond. For a brief moment Meg thought she had misjudged Erik's response to her. She sighed in relief when he spoke once more in a calm and firm voice. Their was neither anger nor sadness in his voice.

"I can't say with one hundred percent certainty how I will respond when face to face with Raoul. At the moment he is of little concern to me. Of course I have not seen him since he took Christine from my home. At the time I thought nothing of relieving Raoul of his life. It shames me to say that I used that act of finality far too often in my life Meg. I want you to know all the horrible things I have done before you commit yourself to me. Once the issue of Christine and Raoul are out of the way I promise I will tell you my whole sordid life. You need to know just what sort of man you will be aligning yourself with when you choose me. For most of my life I did not live as other men did. I am a selfish man Meg. One used to getting things by fair means or fowl. Perhaps that is why I hated Raoul so much. Things came to him so easily. It only took reuniting with Christine for her to fall at his feet. I had known her for over ten years. Admittedly the strangeness of Christine's relationship with me was all my doing. It is rather ironic that she looked upon me as the Angel of Music while some called me the Angel of Death. Don't ask me just yet about that reference to a dark part of my life. I will tell you everything but as you say I need to resolve other issues first. Now I think we should both head to our beds if we are to ride before breakfast. A brisk gallop will perhaps put me in a favorable frame of mind to receive Raoul in my home. Who knows, we could become great friends."

"Erik I will be content if we have peace during his stay without anyone coming to any harm. I don't ask that you make Raoul your closest friend. I only want you not to try to harm him. I would not want you or Raoul to suffer any injury."

Meg and Erik walked hand and hand to the stairs. Slowly they made their way up to the floor where their bedrooms were located. Neither seemed in any great hurry to part from the other. Erik bypassed his room to escort Meg to her room as a gentleman should. The lingering kiss they shared perhaps did not fall under the terms of an acceptable exchange between a man and woman not even betrothed to one another. Neither Erik nor Meg cared one whit for propriety at the moment.

Erik just barely restrained himself from letting out a loud whoop of triumph after Meg was safely behind her bedroom door. He had a woman who openly admitted to having feelings for him while kissing him senseless. Tonight Erik knew his dreams would not be haunted by ghosts from his past. His mind was buzzing with thoughts of Meg. Erik wanted to march straight back down the hall to Meg's room so they might explore more of what men and women shared when in love. His promise to Meg was all that kept him headed back to his own room. He touched his lips with his fingertips reliving the taste and feel of Meg's mouth upon his own. Had a woman ever tasted so sweet? Erik tried to recall the emotions he had felt when Christine had kissed him.

The overwhelming emotions suddenly had a negative feeling to them. He felt gratitude she dared to kiss him knowing what he looked like. He felt saddened that he had done such horrid things to no good end. At the time he had not even had lustful feelings really when she had pressed those two kisses on his lips. At first he had thought they had been passionate. Now he could see they had been filled with desperation on both their parts. Christine to save her lover Raoul, Erik to have a woman give him his first tender exchange of a kiss between a man and a woman.

Erik still felt that he had loved Christine but it was to a different degree than what he felt for Meg. Back when Erik had been feverishly plotting and planning to win Christine, he had thought there could be only one love in a lifetime. For many years he had accepted that for him there would be no such great love. Christine's entrance into his life had changed all that. He should at least be grateful to her for that gift.

When sleep overtook Erik his dreams were filled with a woman radiating light all around her. He felt for the first time in his life safe, secure, loved and happy. He smiled as his dream revealed his hearts desire.

**A/N: Happy Valentine's Day. Read and Review and thank you to all who have continued to leave me a word now and then. I do enjoy knowing my work is being read and appreciated.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

**Days of Revelations**

The following morning Meg donned riding britches. She had a woman's riding habit but found it too constrictive. She deplored riding sidesaddle. Meg felt safest riding astride a horse like a man. Women usually rode with their leg hooked around the saddle horn while wearing a voluminous riding outfit. She chose to wear men's attire. More and more women were riding in this fashion, at least in the lower classes. She felt the common woman had more freedom than a lady of society. Times were changing though, hence her agreement to ride with Erik without benefit of a chaperon. Meg had enough confidence in herself not to worry what others thought for the most part. Her mother had always raised her to be strong and independent. Christine had not taken to being so empowered. She needed someone to guide her through life.

Erik and Meg enjoyed their ride together. After the first rise of his eyebrows upon seeing Meg's attire Erik had enjoyed the tight fit of Meg's trousers. The picture she presented left room for his imagination to take flight wondering about all those enticing curves shown to advantage by the tight fit of the clothe.

This morning while getting ready to meet Meg, Erik had begun to worry if he had made a mistake in asking her to join him for his daily ride. What would they find to talk about? In the bright light of day would not Meg remember the horridness of his face? He did not think she had forgotten how he looked but under low candlelight his face did not stand out so much. His mask did not glare as it would in the bright sunlight. The panic had risen in Erik nearly forcing him to forgo his ride. He had forced himself to overcome the debilitating doubts he felt. Once he had gone downstairs and seen Meg's smiling face welcoming him at the bottom of the stairs, Erik had calmed somewhat.

Meg's kiss in greeting had gone a long way toward reassuring Erik that last night had not been a dream or any feverished longings of his twisted mind. Meg had indeed kissed him last night. That he had not created in his own fantasy. She had nearly confessed to having strong feelings for him. The only thing that had held back her declaration had been her need for him to face Christine and Raoul this last time to be certain all his old longings and animosities could be laid to rest for good.

Erik felt he could give Meg her answer at this very moment but understood her need for him to show her with actions that he had let Christine go and held no anger against Raoul for taking Christine from him. Erik could have told Meg that really Christine had never been his to win. She had not felt the love for him that he had felt for her. In her mind Christine had built him into this otherworldly being of perfection. Once he had been revealed as merely a man Christine had begun to fear him. Erik's actions at that time had not helped his cause. He knew he had a lot to make penance for with Christine. All these last few months Erik had held Christine and Raoul to blame for his despair. Upon reflection Erik could say with self-awareness that he had been responsible for all that had happened to him. Christine and Raoul had only acted as they had due to his own crazed actions. If he had taken a normal avenue to pursue Christine he perhaps would have been able to win her but then again, with Erik's new enlightenment he felt that he and Christine would have drifted apart as music had been their strongest link.

During their ride Erik found Meg to be an amusing companion. They did not lack for things to discuss contrary to his earlier fear. He dare not kiss Meg in his present state of arousal. If he touched her intimately he might not stop at just one kiss. Meg flirted shamelessly with him. He supposed she felt safe as he had given her his promise. She did not know how many times Erik had lied in his past to get what he wanted. He wouldn't jeopardize what he and Meg were only now beginning to explore by a betrayal of her trust in him.

When they returned Aubrey and Christine were already in the breakfast room filling their plates from the sideboard. Both Meg and Erik excused themselves to freshen up. It only took a few minutes for them to wash and change their clothes. Meg wore a black skirt with a white silk blouse. The ruffles flirted with her skin in an enticing manner. Erik scowled darkly when he caught Aubrey admiring the same view he had been viewing.

Meg greeted both Christine and Aubrey as did Erik. Meg sighed as Christine cast her a hostile look. It would seem Christine was going to be difficult. All Christine's life Meg had given in to what Christine wanted. Meg's mother had done the same. Erik had indulged her as well on occasion. All of them had contributed to Christine's selfish behavior. Underneath all of that Meg knew Christine had a good kind heart.

Many times Christine had gone out of her way to help a fellow dancer or help someone struggling to sing a certain song. They had not known back then that Christine's knowledge had been learned from a self-taught master. Meg's mother had probably been the only one who knew of Erik and Christine's association.

When Aubrey saw Christine snub yet another attempt on Meg's part to get Christine to engage in conversation Aubrey shot Meg a glance raising his brows in question. Aubrey had been given four sides to this whole debacle. Raoul, Christine, Antoinette and Meg had all given him the full benefit of all they knew and how they perceived things during Erik's tyrannical reign over the opera house. What Aubrey had learned by piecing things together had been that this man Erik had spoiled Christine just as the others had. Erik had been indulgent and strict in turns. Raoul had continued to indulge Christine. It was no wonder she still pined for her Angel of Music. Christine felt adrift in this new world she found herself in. She had responsibilities. She had a husband, child and home to tend to. Raoul being who he was forced Christine into society at a level she had not been used to. She had to grow up overnight and what with just having a baby things had overwhelmed her. She wanted the safe haven of her Angel.

Aubrey intended to speak with Erik before Raoul arrived. From what Antoinette had told him, Erik had gone a little over the edge when he had learned of Christine's motherhood. Lord only knows what he would do when he actually had to see the child along with the child's father, Raoul. What Aubrey knew so far of Erik's life it was amazing he had not been even more maladjusted than he had been. To have accomplished the things he did from beneath the opera house seemed impressive to Aubrey even if Erik had gone a little too far in his method of ruling over the managers and employees of L'Opéra Populaire. Aubrey had been in the French Navy with Raoul and served for a time in the Foreign Legion. If Erik had used that genius of his toward helping mankind there is no telling what he might have done.

Christine continued to act like a spoiled child stubbornly refusing to add anything to the conversation. Aubrey had an idea that Raoul's patience was coming to an end. If Raoul did not end up putting Christine over his knee like the child she was acting Aubrey would eat his new hat. There had been a time or two when Aubrey's hand had itched to administer a few well placed swats when Christine gave everyone a hard time. Aubrey restrained himself from saying anything negative about Christine as he knew in his heart of hearts she did love Raoul. Underneath all her spoiled childish behavior Christine had seemed to be a wonderful person and a good match for Raoul. If she could now get passed all this foolishness concerning her Angel of Music things could get back on track as they should be.

Aubrey had observed Erik and Meg throughout the meal. If a romance was not blooming there something was dreadfully wrong with Aubrey's perception. He had not missed the sly smile the two had passed between them. Meg had told Aubrey she had feelings for Erik but had not felt he could return them until he faced his loss of Christine. Meg's support of Christine coming to England to see Erik had not been all altruistic. Meg had seen an opportunity to bring things to a head once and for all. Meg must have been fairly certain of the outcome or she wouldn't have been quite so eager for this visit of Christine and Raoul's.

When everyone finished there last drop of tea Aubrey waylaid Erik before he could leave the room. "Erik, Meg has told me of your new breeding stock in your stable. I would very much like to see if those mares and stallion are as magnificent as Meg has made them out to be."

Erik had wanted to follow Meg so they could spend a little more time together. As ridiculous as it sounded Erik felt as if it had been days instead of mere hours since he and Meg had been alone. Even with Christine Erik had wanted some time to himself. His music had taken precedence over everything. Erik stopped for a moment in shock at the realization of what he had just revealed to himself. His music had been more important than Christine. With Meg his music came second. For Meg he would even forgo his daily routine of composing and playing for hours on end. He would much rather listen to Meg's musical voice in idle conversation than play or listen to the most beautiful piece of music ever written or performed. Had his love for Christine been so shallow? To be fair with himself Erik allowed that he nor Christine had been equipped to know what real love was at the time Erik had pursued her. Raoul had awakened that part of Christine that Erik had wanted from her but she could not give to him.

Perhaps in her naiveté Christine had known more than he had about what constituted a real relationship. Erik now knew that a man did not use subterfuge, lies, and manipulation to win his heart's desire. Erik had never had anyone in his life to show him how it should be between a man and woman falling in love. The man Erik had been had simply saw something he wanted then used any means to gain possession of it. That may be fine for inanimate objects but human beings want more in a mate than a tyrannical overlord.

Erik glanced toward Meg then Christine. They were as different as night and day, not only in coloring, but in temperament. Erik could not imagine Christine surviving the last six or so months dealing with the rages and discordant person he had been lately. Erik wondered how in the hell Meg had even come to care for such a despicable, miserable person such as he had been. All he could say was he thanked God that Meg was the sort of person who could look deeper than what she saw on the surface. With Erik, one had to look deeper than most to find that redeeming person underneath.

Christine did not know what had come over her. She knew she loved Raoul and their life together. Her little boy meant more to her than her own life. As she had cast quick fleeting glances toward Erik it seemed more often than not he had his eyes fixed on Meg even when in conversation with Aubrey. Rememvering to having concluded just last night that she must let go of Erik this morning in the bright light of day it did not seem at all palatable or acceptable. She hated all these confusing emotions churning inside her. Her mind felt as if her head had been stuffed with cotton and no clear thoughts could form.

This unsettling feeling that had overtaken her had in part been brought on by giving birth. Maman had explained everything to her. Even allowing for hormones running amuck, Christine felt that some of her confusion and discontent had to do with how she and Erik had been forced to severe their nearly twelve year association. Even when she had thought Erik to be an angel she could not help but respond to Erik's voice. When he sang she would forget that there was a world beyond the two of them. Those feelings of attraction had to mean something. Christine wanted to know what it would have been like with Erik.

Christine knew Meg thought her an imbecile for risking everything but then Meg could not be objective as she had come to care for Erik during her time of taking care of him. Christine could sense as well as see how Erik and Meg felt about one another. She could not curtail the jealousy that had her in its grip. Perhaps if she and Erik were to explore this attraction between them she would find that although she found him to be a most appealing man he did not affect her in the same way Raoul did.

Just thinking of Raoul and her son made Christine long to have her two men close to her. All these conflicting emotions had to be laid to rest if she was to ever find tranquility in her marriage. She felt unresolved issues with Erik while she felt completely at home with Raoul. Christine thought Raoul knew her every thought. At one time she had felt that way about her Angel of Music. He had seemed to know what she wanted and needed before she did. Of course now Christine knew that much of that was Erik's manipulation of her mind and spying on her from behind mirrors and listening from behind the walls of the opera house.

By the time breakfast had ended Christine felt a little surer of her feelings. She still felt jealous of Meg and Erik's new closeness. She supposed this may always be so as Erik had been the only man in her life since her father died, even if he did pretend to be an angel. When Raoul came along Christine had been ready to explore her newly awakened sexuality. If Raoul had not come back Christine could not help wondering if she would have been more open to Erik.

When everyone would have left the breakfast room Aubrey had asked Erik to show him the stables. Christine felt this had been Aubrey's subtle way to get Erik alone to discuss things in private about Christine's and Erik's relationship. She and Meg exchanged a surprised look mixed with a little worry. Erik would not take to being questioned or probed where his emotions were concerned.

Christine didn't feel comfortable with Aubrey knowing the intimate details of what had passed between Erik and herself. Aubrey cared for Christine but knew his loyalty was with Raoul. When Meg invited Christine into the newly constructed atrium she accepted hoping to repair any damage she had done to their relationship with her behavior earlier. Meg was the only real family Christine had known other than Antoinette Giry. Christine could barely remember her father, although she did know she had adored him when he was alive. Both Christine and Meg cast one last worried look at the two men then left them to carry on without any interruptions.

Once the women had gone Erik and Aubrey sized one another up as men do when entering into an exchange of words that they found difficult to begin. They needed to know the mettle of their opponent even if it would only be a battle of words and nothing physical. Nothing was said until they had entered the stable and Erik had stopped by his prize stallions stall. For a few minutes only talk of horses and the quality of each one had been discussed. When Aubrey deemed enough pleasantries had been observed he began the subject he had really wanted to discuss.

"Erik I suppose there is no need to beat around the bush, we both know the real reason we are here. I am in my cousins stead. I feel it my duty to ascertain what exactly your intentions are toward Christine and for my own interests I wish to enquire as to your intentions toward Mademoiselle Giry."

Erik had expected him to ask about Christine and had been ready to answer with all honesty any inquiries. When Aubrey mentioned Meg and wanting to address his relationship with Meg, Erik had felt tension enter his entire body. He had known that some sort of inquisition would take place but he had not been prepared to discuss his developing feelings for Meg. It would be bad enough to expose the failure he had been with Christine with another man. Erik did not feel confident enough just yet in what he and Meg had to bring it under a microscope to dissect and discuss.

Hoping to waylay any questions about his interest in Meg Erik told Aubrey the unvarnished truth about his life. He did not relay the bare facts of his pitiful childhood to garner sympathy or compassion. He felt there was no need to varnish the facts as Raoul and the others would have given him a pretty fair picture of his life. The only new information Erik could give would be about his earliest memories. No one knew every minute detail of his life. He had hoped to unburden his soul with Meg in the telling of his life but now it would serve as a way for Erik to let Aubrey know just what sort of man he had been and the man he now hoped to become in order to keep Meg's esteemed regard.

Aubrey listened with an un-jaundiced ear. What he heard confirmed much of what he already knew with a lot of new unsettling information. Aubrey felt Erik told him the unvarnished truth of how he had lived. Why would a man make up such a horrid existence? As unsettling as it had been Aubrey felt the years at the Opera had been Erik's happiest to date even with all the disaster that had come in later years. Trying to be fair Aubrey put himself in Erik's place. The resulting conclusion he came to was that if he had been in Erik's place he would have lost his sanity long ago.

Aubrey could not imagine a life lived with so little human contact. Most humans needed the company of others to grow and feel as if they belonged. The only people Aubrey knew who did not yearn for human companionship was those who had become embittered by life's betrayals early on in life. Erik, Aubrey considered had at least held off hating all society for a few years. He had only begun to shun man when man had not been willing to take all the wonderful creations Erik's considerable talents could have given to the world. According to Christine and Antoinette Erik had multiple talents that he had a firm grasp of as well as artistic talents beyond the norm. Aubrey had seen Erik's abilities with his own eyes when he had learned the impressive addition to his home as well as most of the renovations to his home had been designed and implemented by Erik himself.

Erik had told Aubrey of his association between himself and Christine without laying any glossy coating over his actions. When Aubrey asked what if any feelings he now had for Christine, Aubrey felt Erik had spoken honestly when he had assured him that he did not love her as he once had but he did still hold her in high regard. He felt connected to her in a way that he could never be with anyone else. Erik had given Christine the full benefit of his talents in the musical realm. In a sense she had been his creation. Through Christine Erik had been able to reach the world with his music even if only for that brief moment in time. For most of his life that had been Erik's one goal, to share with the world his talents. His music held a glimpse into his true inner person. Every emotion Erik had felt over his lifetime could be heard in the notes he placed on paper. If one took the time to play every piece Erik had written his whole life would come to life for the person playing his compositions.

For Erik, music and his soul meant one and the same thing. As Aubrey continued his conversation with Erik he came to realize Erik, for all his faults and sins had been no different than any other man. Throughout the ages men had gone to great lengths to protect their own possessions or to procure another man's through any means possible. At times the possessions had been won by violent acts. Aubrey thought Raoul had a shock in store for him if he thought to find the same angry, murderous, and disenfranchised man from the opera house.

**A/N: Hope this wasn't too sappy or corny. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven **

**Finality**

While Erik and Aubrey had been carrying on their conversation Meg had waylaid Christine when she would have scurried to her room to avoid speaking to Meg. Meg would have none of that. The time for letting Christine bury her head in the sand had long since passed. She needed to face life as it was before things went too far and could not be mended.

Meg asked Christine to take a seat in the little parlor just down from the library. This would be much cozier as the library although beautiful and relaxing was not conducive to a private chat. The maids could come through attending to the fire or any number of tasks unless it was known someone occupied the room. The parlor was different. No one tended this room unless asked to do so. Privacy could almost be guaranteed.

After they had been seated Meg had just gathered her thoughts on how to put forth her opinion to Christine when without warning Christine burst into a flood of tears crying loudly and sniffling in an unusual lack of manners. Christine for the most part had always been circumspect and behaved accordingly when in the presence of others.

Meg quickly crossed to the settee to sit beside Christine who immediately threw herself at Meg burying her face in Meg's shoulder. Without hesitation Meg enfolded Christine in her arms. When Christine's tears had abated enough for her to speak coherently what she had to say appeased and eased Meg's mind.

"Oh Meg, I am so ashamed. How could I have behaved so? I hurt Raoul with no thought for his feelings or the future of our marriage or of my child. I am coming to realize just what a selfish person I am. At first I was angry at you for having taken my Angel's attention from me. To think of him being intimate with anyone would have distressed me I think but for it to be you seemed far worse than for it to be some strange woman. I can say truthfully that I have not rid myself of those wanton desires I feel for Erik but I do understand now that they mean less to me than having Raoul's love and trust." She paused when Meg offered her a lacy handkerchief to dab at her eyes and nose.

"I should like to think that if Erik and I had been able to part in a normal way I could have put those feelings in the place they belong, my subconscious mind. They should have been left to explore in my dreams only. To dwell on them and allow them to enter into my marriage served only to confuse me. They took on a much more important role than they should have. Meg do you think it is too late to apologize and ask Raoul's forgiveness?" Christine sniffled piteously as she wiped her eyes on the backs of her hands in another uncharacteristic show of ill manners as the handkerchief lay limp and useless on Christine's lap. Catching Meg's eyes on her she smiled then they both erupted into a fit of girlish giggles releasing them from the tension that had gripped them.

Meg said with the ease of familiarity, "Christine how many times have I told you a lady always keeps a handkerchief tucked inside the sleeve of her dress? I must tell you that snot does not add to a woman's beauty in the least."

Another round of giggles then they settled back to have a serious discussion.

"Christine if you had lost Raoul's regard for good he would not have come here knowing you would be seeing a man you claim to have feelings for. He would not now be waiting patiently with my mother for your decision. Do you know of any other man who would debase himself in that way for the woman who holds his heart?" Meg let that simmer in Christine's mind before she continued.

"Raoul has always been a man of honor and great compassion. If he and Erik had met under different circumstances Raoul would be able to find it in his heart to think of Erik with pity for his circumstances but he would also reach out his hand in friendship. My suggestion to you is that you make ready to lay yourself at Raoul's feet. Do whatever it takes to prove to him that once and for all you have left thoughts of Erik in their proper place." Taking Christine's hand in her own Meg wondered if anyone once having loved Erik could get him completely out of their heart and mind.

"I can't imagine Raoul requiring much provocation to forgive you. His devotion to you is unlike anything I have ever seen. You should count yourself lucky to have won his heart. Perhaps I should not tell you this but if it were not for Erik I could find myself enamored of Raoul. As a child I had an image of my Prince Charming and Raoul comes very close to that man."

Taking note of the jealousy filling Christine's eyes, Meg took pity on her by assuring her that Erik had Meg's full attention. She would not be letting him get away unless he found he could not let go of his past. They both knew Meg referred to Erik's love for Christine.

Christine felt much better having said her piece out loud. Speaking the words aloud had made them solidify in her mind. Now she knew that even though she might find some emotional bond with Erik it was only natural because of the past they shared. Any physical attraction was allowed as long as she did not let it rule her heart and head.

After the last few days melodrama Christine felt anxious now for Raoul's arrival. Her arms ached to hold both of her men. She would not let herself forget what she had put Raoul through or her son. Little Erik may not be old enough to remember his mother's desertion but Christine would never forget it. It would serve as a reminder not to let herself question what she had with Raoul. She had much to atone for toward both Raoul and little Erik. On reflection she felt she might possibly owe Erik some sort of apology too. All the mess that had happened all those months ago had not been all his fault. Much of it had but not all.

At any time Christine knew she could have stopped things. Christine could not delude herself that at 17, the age of womanhood she still had really believed in her Angel of Music. She had convinced herself she had but deep within she had known the truth. She had just not been willing to accept it in fear of losing her angel, her one real companion and teacher. Erik had to all intents and purposes been Christine's father figure in some strange twisted way. He had held sway over everything she did just as a father might. Even her ideas of men had been based on his persona as presented to her. Unknowingly she had used her hidden guardian as a role model to judge men by. Not appropriately of course but nonetheless she had used Erik to form her ideas of what men should be.

Both parties having finished their tête-à-têtes they rejoined one another to continue on in a better frame of mind. Erik did not know what had passed between Meg and Christine, but whatever it had been it seemed to have lightened both women's moods. They looked upon him with changed attitudes. Christine didn't seem so melancholy or as if she would break down into tears at the drop of a hat. Meg, well Meg looked much as she always did except for the amorous glances she kept casting in Erik's direction.

Erik tried not to let his old doubts take away from the desire he thought he saw in Meg's eyes. It had not been easy to sustain his positive attitude all day and into the evening. He need not have worried as Meg took special pains to enlighten him as to exactly how she felt. She could stir Erik's blood with only a look. Never had Erik been clumsy or at a loss for words. He found his cheeks reddening under Meg's covetous glances and his hands, legs and feet did not seem to know their proper use as he stumbled into furniture or tripped on his own feet when he caught one of Meg's unguarded looks cast in his direction.

When answering a question posed to him Erik found he lost all train of thought when his eyes tangled with the heat in Meg's. He had never had a woman cast such ardent glances toward him. Christine may have done so the last couple of days but even she seemed to come out of her dazed state to now seem only to have friendly affection for him.

Every time Erik looked in Aubrey's direction the man seemed all too happy to enjoy Erik's bumbling ways. If Erik had not found himself taking an unusual liking to him the man may have gone missing in the night.

Aubrey and Meg exchanged understanding glances. Both were glad of the outcome of their individual conversations this morning. Aubrey felt he could relax now that Christine's madness had left her. If her peppering her conversation every other sentence with Raoul or little Erik's name indicated anything he thought Raoul would be in for some much needed reassurance from his young wife.

Erik's ears had perked up when he learned Christine had named her son after him. He could see now part of Raoul's attitude. If the mother of his own child named a son of his after another man, Erik knew there would be hell to pay unless it had been an idea of his own.

For Christine to name her son for him he felt was an honor while also being a colossal mistake. What would they tell him when he asked for whom had he been named? Would they say well dear child "_you are named in honor of a murderous, blackmailing ghost and phantom. This man manipulated your mother's mind into believing him to be the Angel of Music. He lived as a mole in the dark underbelly of L'Opéra Populaire. He had not even been thought to be a man at all. Society had shunned him. Oh and by the way he had a hideous face. Looked more gargoyle than man. Are you not proud dear boy?"_

Erik wanted to hang his head in shame. No child should have the burdens of Erik's sins placed on his shoulders. Thinking in this vein brought about the possibility of Meg wanting children. Would Meg wish to have children, his children? Of course she would want them his mind told him. Meg had always been fond of the younger boys and girls in the ballet and chorus.

She had tremendous patience as proven by her continued care and affection for him. Erik would not chance bringing forth another such as he into this world. One monster let loose in the world had been one too many.

Meg could not decipher the dark scowl on Erik's face or read the cause of it. His mind had to be conjuring stumbling blocks in the way of his happiness. Erik could find the darkest clouds on a sunny day. His life had led him to believe every cloud had a darker cloud lining it instead of the silver lining.

She knew what Erik would do. He would brood himself into a bad mood then draw away from everyone seeking to be alone so his misery would fester and grow. Whatever had caused this sudden mood change had something to do with Christine's mention of her son Erik. Meg didn't want to believe Erik harbored any ill will toward an innocent child.

The only logical conclusion had to be Erik felt some jealousy toward Raoul. It hurt Meg to think Erik would begrudge Raoul fathering Christine's child. Perhaps not all of his lingering emotions had been laid to rest as she had thought.

Over the next few days Erik and Meg would be working at cross purposes as he tried to convince her children were not a blessing nor needed to make a couple happy while she tried to discern how Erik felt toward Christine and her son. She watched Erik and Christine whenever they were together trying to see if Erik felt he should have been the one to give Christine a child.

As Erik continued on his campaign Meg worried herself into melancholy. The days would have them drifting apart to a place that would leave neither of them rejoicing in happiness. Only the help of those looking on may give them the hope they needed.

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait. I tried to post the last few days but it wouldn't let me save my edited document. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

**Rivals Reunite **

Raoul and Antoinette started out early as it would be over an hours drive in the coach. Little Erik would be getting cranky by the end of the journey needing freshening as well as a feeding. Antoinette had used this time to counsel Raoul. She had cautioned him about being heavyhanded toward Christine. Neither of the young ones made sound decisions while gripped with jealousy and regrets. This time apart should have either made the bonds between the stronger or broken them. On Raoul's part she felt his love for Christine had won over any jealousy he might still feel toward Erik.

The two adults had spent all of yesterday speaking of everything they hoped would happen over the next few days. Raoul had been feeling like the rejected lover he was. Even with Antoinette's assurances that Christine did love him deeply, Raoul moaned over the fact that Erik still had a sensual pull on her. Using all her persuavive powers and sound reasoning had finally won Raoul over much to Antonette's delight.

Men were allowed to find other women attractive and seek out their company without so much as a raising of a brow. Let a woman voice her attraction to a man in passing and she would be labeled a harlot. Raoul had not once thought of going outside his marriage to assuage his hurt feelings or bolster his self-esteem. Loyalty toward Christine and his belief in keeping his marital vows would not allow him to take a lover. Besides, anything he might feel during one of those fleeting encounters would be only that, a fleeting moment quickly regretted.

Antoinette felt that once Christine had been in Erik's company for a day or two while missing her husband and child that would open Christine's eyes to all that she had already in the palm of her hand. What she had now would overshadow any passing attraction she may harbor for any man, including Erik.

Women and men as well would often find themselves attracted to another person. With the world filled with people it would be naïve to suggest a man or woman would only find one person attractive. It is the things in everyday life that added enhancement to an attraction. Physical attraction burned hot and quick but that sort of love burned out rapidly. True love needed more than the physical bond to sustain those feelings.

Sometimes Antoinette thought it would be wise to form some sort of classes that taught young people the real value of everyday life as opposed to those flash in the pan attractions. Life held more meaning than sexual gratification. Antoinette could not help the flush staining her cheeks to think such things while in the presence of a young virile man.

If Christine did not come to her senses soon Antoinette could not see Raoul remaining celibate for long. Indeed the young maids at the inn had all but brazenly offered him personal service. Antoinette had not been blind to the sort of "service" they wished to give Raoul. His wealth as well as his good looks would draw the eyes of any woman who could yet hanker after such things from men. Antoinette had not participated in such behavior for quite some time, not for want of trying. Her life style of being a mother and professional woman somewhat limited her field of options. It would not have been proper or feasible to take on some man in the opera house as once the liaison had run its course they would still come into contact. That would not have served Antoinette well or the gentleman in question.

As the coach approached Erik's front drive Antoinette heard Raoul's deeply indrawn breath. Whether in anticipation of seeing Christine or the fact of Erik's opulent home she could not say but hazarded a guess it might be a little of both.

The coach had not come to a full stop when Christine came running out followed by the other occupants of the dwelling. Erik held back as he did not wish to taint such a joyous reunion. He would not admit to any cowardly feelings of standing next to the perfection of Raoul while he…well while he was far from perfect.

Raoul had barely stepped down onto the stone drive when Christine threw herself at him. She wrapped her arms around him in a stranglehold. To feel Christine against him again felt so good Raoul almost lost sight of his objective. He needed to play it cool for a while. It would do Christine good not to have him bowing and scraping all the time. Antoinette had agreed that Christine should have to work just a bit harder at trying to earn his love rather than Raoul being the one to sustain the relationship by putting his own wants and needs aside at every turn. At times yes he needed to put Christine first but there should come days when Christine catered to his wants and needs.

Raoul loved Christine so completely he had forgotten how to let Christine show him in all those little ways that she cared. Christine had begun to take him for granted. Antoinette had warned him not to go overboard. Playing with ones emotions could be a dangerous as well as a painful game. He felt an embrace would not topple his plan of action. After all he needed to let Christine see just what she would be missing if she lost him. He knew damn well his world would end if he lost her. His boiling anger had dissipated with Antoinette's help. He had come to see things through different eyes. Not all things were black and white. There were shades of grey in-between. In Erik's case a whole spectrum of shadowy greys could be found.

Christine pulled back from Raoul to take a good look at him. He seemed even more handsome than the day she left. She had always felt she would gladly drown in the depths of his blue eyes. Only lately had Christine come to realize how foolish she had been to jeopardize everything of importance for a wisp of a dream. Since gaining the knowledge that her own insecurities had driven her to place more importance on how she felt about Erik than had really been there Christine felt sure of her choice to be with Raoul.

Only the mewling from her son in Antoinette's arms could draw Christine from Raoul. Christine cried out joyously as she took Little Erik from Antoinette. Hugging her son to her Christine turned toward Erik. She wanted him to see her son, the child she had named for her teacher, her companion from the shadows during all of her years growing up in the opera house. How beautiful her son was. She felt proud to have named him for her teacher even if it had caused conflict between her and Raoul. There had been so little for Christine to give to Erik. The one thing he had asked of her could not be given to him for it belonged to another.

Erik could not help but take notice of Meg's enraptured gaze fixed on that wiggling bundle in Christine's arms. It disheartened him to know that she would likely crave to be a mother herself. He could not, would not take that risk. Erik began to withdraw into that dark place where he could shut everyone else out. He could feel himself losing Meg and would not go through another loss of that magnitude. Everyone stared in stunned surprise as Erik abruptly turned to reenter the house without so much as a request for their pardon for his leave taking.

They stared at one another in confusion. Meg looked at Erik's retreating back until the door slammed behind him with a window rattling slam. She could think of nothing that would have set him off. He had been eager to greet her mother. She had thought he had even been willing to accept Raoul without any animosity. It had seemed like over the last few days Erik had been changing just a little. Meg felt certain he had come to care for her he had even said as much.

It was not long after Erik left them that the most horrendous music could be heard coming out of Erik's opened window of his music room. The notes sounded twisted and sour. Sheer misery could be felt with every stroke of the keys.

Supper that evening had been filled with an unexplained tension. Erik had not wanted to alienate Meg but he felt it best to severe their tenuous relationship before Meg expected him to give her the one thing he would not wish to pass on to anyone. His face had been his private hell all of his life. Rightly or wrongly Erik's face had defined who and what he had been since early childhood when he learned that God in his infinite wisdom had seen fit to burden him thusly.

Erik tried to avoid Meg's silent questions she conveyed with her very expressive eyes. If Erik looked too long into Meg's hypnotic gaze he would lose sight of what he needed to do. He could never recall a time when Christine had snagged his attention with only a look. All those times he had visited her speaking to her only through the mirror, his one thought had been to develop her voice to the best of his abilities. Even later once she had captured his heart Erik could not say he had ever been held captive by Christine's gaze alone. He needed only to hear her sing and he had been lost.

Meg did not need words to draw him to her. A lingering gaze cast in his direction would have Erik following wherever Meg chose to lead him. For this reason Erik had to force Meg to realize she had not won a prize when she ensnared him. Erik silently berated himself for planning to push the woman he loved away while only a scarce few months ago or even weeks ago, he had been curled in a ball of misery sobbing over losing the love of his life, Christine.

Meg tried after dinner to corner Erik before he slunk off to his private chambers. At last she accomplished her task. Meg trapped Erik in the library where he had gone to retrieve his book. Erik cursed his own stupidity for not going directly to his room. If Meg took it into her head to question his recent attitude he did not hold out hope for the continuation of his ruse. Meg had a way of wheedling things out of him. Before he knew what happened she would have him purging his soul into her waiting ears. Using every past pain inflicted on him, Erik managed to bring forth a little anger. If the anger he felt was not Meg's transgression that could not be helped. For Meg's own good Erik had to drive her away.

"Erik I want an explanation right now. I deserve better than this. I have always been honest with you. Now I expect the same. Have you…do you find yourself attracted to Christine? Did the fact that she named her son for you revive your affections for her? After what has gone on between the two of us recently I have a right to know what has changed."

"Rights? You speak of rights. You have no claim on me or my feelings. You…you mean nothing to me. Less than nothing. When did I ever claim to have removed Christine from my heart?" He could feel the tearing of his heart with each hurting word but he must continue.

"You may have flattered me. What man would not have taken advantage of what you were willing to give to me for free? I may not have had the opportunity to avail myself of the pleasures of women but make no mistake I do have those same desires other men have. You think you were something special to me? I do believe it to be a case of propinquity. A meal served to a starving man will be gobbled up with little or no regret. Of course if you wish to commence an affair I would be more than willing to accommodate you. I do believe I have this evening free. What say you Meg? Would a night of passion sooth your upset with me?"

Erik took the couple of steps that would bring him flush against Meg's now shaking body. The quiver in her lips gave him pause but he could not let any sentimentality veer him from his set course. He must bring things between the two of them to an end. No matter how much it pained him, to end it now would save them the eventual tragic withdrawal as Meg began to comprehend that to be with him meant never having her dreams fully realized. Erik felt a crushing weight pressing against his chest.

Before Erik could react Meg had raised her hand delivering him a stinging blow upon his unmasked cheek. Even in her anger she had instinctively avoided the possibility of knocking Erik's mask from his face.

Erik angrily pulled Meg toward him slamming his lips down upon hers cruelly. There was nothing of love or caring in the exchange. Erik wanted to drive Meg from him with no hope of regaining her love or trust. He must do this to save her from the eventual pain he would bring with his refusal to give her a child. This chance Erik took knowing he would irrevocably seal both of their fates with this cavalier action. Erik forced his fingers to grip Meg's arms with punishing pressure. He heard Meg's whimper even as her own fingers unfurled to reach toward his face.

With the very first touch Erik nearly collapsed from the sheer agony of knowing this angry kiss may be the last time he would ever touch Meg. It pained him to think this would be the last memory he would hold in his heart of the two of them together. Gaining strength Erik shoved Meg forcefully away from him. Roughly he wiped the back of his hand across his mouth as if he could wipe away the taste and feel of Meg's lips from his own.

"You stupid whore. Run back to your lover Aubrey. Perhaps his kiss will not be such an abomination as my own cursed lips seem to be. At least now it is clear what woman I would rather be kissing. Is it not fortuitous that we did not enter into the physical aspects of our relationship? I begin to wonder if our dear Aubrey has not already sampled your wares and that is the reason for your lack of passion toward me."

Erik did not believe a word of what he said. He could recall all too clearly how Meg had nearly burned him alive with passion. The only real stumbling block that had kept them from entering into a physical relationship had been lack of opportunity with everyone else in the house. Hopefully Meg would be far too hurt and angry to read the lie in his words. If she had looked into his eyes she would have seen the anguish clearly displayed therein.

Wiping the tears from her eyes Meg glared blearily at Erik. She saw his shimmery form thru the remainder of her tears. Pulling herself upright Meg gathered her inner strength to show Erik that if he could deny all they had together then so could she. She'd not force her affections on anyone. It may kill her inside but at lest on the outside she would display none of her hurt and devastation.

Humiliation flowed freely over Meg as she recalled how expressive she had been of her feelings toward Erik. She had laid her heart out for him to trample on. Perhaps Christine had taught Erik more than they had realized. Meg could not find it within her to be sorry for the spiteful thought. Later she may beg Christine's forgiveness as she sobbed her heart out on her sister's shoulders.

"You need not worry that I will bother you with any of my unwanted affections or offers of an improper nature. I do apologize for being such a bother. Forgive me for misunderstanding anything that transpired between us. I shall make certain it never happens again."

As Meg whirled in a flurry of billowing skirts Erik dejectedly watched her leave. He had to bite his tongue to keep from calling her back recounting to her all his own fevered longings as well as his doubts about fatherhood. Erik needed the pain of his nails digging into the soft flesh of the palm of his hands to keep him from calling out in agony for Meg to forgive him.

He sank down heavily on the nearest chair. The only thing remaining to remind him Meg had been in the room with him was her scent. If he could suck the air out of the room into a bottle he would gladly relinquish his need to breath. Erik groaned then clasped his arms across his middle. This new turmoil rising within him felt far worse than anything he had ever experienced. This time he had not imagined the return of his feelings. Desperation had not led him to commit heinous acts as Meg had come to him freely. He wondered if Meg felt half as badly as he did. She had not fooled him as he had fooled her. Being a consummate liar over the years had at last served him his just desserts.

Somehow he had to manage to get through the next few days. He had no doubts now that Meg would return with Antoinette to Paris. The thought of her with some other man curled his insides into a twisted mass of agony. He could not stem those blasted tears from falling down his cheeks. He did not even try really as he felt he could cry enough to flood the English seaboard.

If he felt this badly now he did not care to think how he would feel when Meg had actually left him for good. Surging to his feet Erik set about destroying the library. When he entered the room he had built for Meg he paused looking around at everything that reminded him of her. As hard as it would be to enter this room Erik could not bare to damage so much as a petal on one of the flowers Meg loved so much. He turned to take in the destruction he had caused. Shame washed over him as all that he had destroyed in his anger and despair registered in his mind. Bending down he began to clear away the evidence of his misery. This time Meg would not be there to pick up the pieces.

Squatting down Erik had just reached for a broken vase when a feminine hand touched his own shaking appendage. Her scent had preceded her. Erik had not wanted to believe she had come back in case it had been his own feverish wishes letting his senses tell him things he wanted to be true.

Erik dropped to his knees then sat on his lower leg as he rested his clenched fists on his thighs. He closed his eyes trying to stem the tide of his tears. He had no wish for Meg to see him once again reduced to tears even if this time the cause had been his own stupidity and insecurities.

Hoarsely Erik whispered, "I…I am so sorry Meg. I did not mean to be…"

"I know Erik, I know. I had almost made it to my room before it occurred to me that perhaps something I did not know about caused you to behave in such a manner as you did."

"You mean like a jackass?" Erik nearly choked on the tears clogging his throat. Meg once again forgave him. She alone understood him even better than he did himself. Any other woman would have packed her bags and left him long ago. Hell he could not think of any woman who would have come willingly in the first place.

"Erik I know something is wrong. You don't have to speak of it now. When you are ready please know that I will be here to listen and help in any way that I can. I know things are not easy for you. You have shown me in many ways what a wonderful person you are on the inside. You must now learn to let all that inner goodness come out for others to see." He nearly collapsed in gratitude when she leaned her cheek against his back.

"Perhaps we took things too far too quickly. I can understand how upsetting that might be for someone who has lived alone for so long in the manner you have lived. We can take things more slowly. Just please do not shut me out, that's all I ask of you."

Erik could not reply with words. Silently he held his hand out waiting for Meg to place hers confidently in his own. He sighed in relief to feel her soft hand in his once more. He grasped her hand tightly not wanting to ever let her go again. With all of his heart Erik prayed he and Meg could work this out. Perhaps together they might come to some sort of resolution to his problem. It would take time but Erik felt willing to devote the rest of his life to making Meg happy.

In silence they cleaned away all the debris. Meg did not ask Erik what had set him off. When he felt ready he would tell her. Until then she would do as she always did. Wait for Erik to come to her. Once everything had been placed back as best it could Meg came up behind Erik and wrapped her arms around his waist. Leaning her cheek against his strong back she whispered, "I do love you Erik. If you have a worry then it is mine also. Whatever troubles you troubles me. That is how it is between two people who love one another. Lovers can inflict the most cutting blows in one another so let us be careful from now on. I can forgive you this time but let us not chance another test as to my abilities to forgive."

Erik swiftly turned around and kissed Meg at first with unbridled passion that slowly turned to a kiss so tender he brought her to tears. That night when they parted Erik felt for the first time as if he might have hope for his future. Would they not be able to face anything God threw at them with so much love between them? The matter of children could be addressed in other ways than producing them themselves. Meg would love a child in her care no matter where it came from or who had parented it. The orphanages were filled with children waiting to find a home and someone to love them. To have Meg in his life he would do almost anything. The only exception would be to father a child.

**A/N: Poor Meg and Erik. I cried when I wrote this then had to reread it for editing so I cried again. They have a tentative resolution if Erik doesn't think himself into losing her. Of course his face would be an issue for him but I think Meg will find a way to win him over. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

**Children of a Lesser God**

Meg acted toward Erik as she always had in the past. He marveled at her forbearance. If their roles were reversed Erik felt certain he would have perhaps done away with her in some permanent manner. On second thought he knew he could never do anything to hurt Meg in a physical way. By his own stupidity he had hurt her emotionally while dealing himself almost a fatal blow. Only Meg's intuition and genuine regard for him had saved the day. Left to himself God knows what horrible mistakes he might commit because of his insecurities.

If nothing else ever had convinced Erik of Meg's devotion to him this last episode proved to him that Meg cared for him far more than he could have ever dreamed. He not imagine any other woman putting up with that type of behavior. Meg had only her love toward him to guide her. Erik could not help thinking loving Meg had to be the smartest thing he had ever done. Now if he did not let his insecurities muck it up things just might come out right for once.

True to her word Meg gave him space to breath. She treated him just as she did Raoul and Aubrey. The only discernable difference he could see being the quick intimate smiles or the unseen touches of reassurance upon his hand or back when no one had been looking. Those little gestures marked moments of bliss in Erik's day. Who would have thought something so simple as the touch of another could bring one such immeasurable joy? Erik felt more intense emotions from Meg's simple caresses than from any he had shared with Christine. He could not help but compare the two women.

For all Christine was a great beauty Meg seemed to outshine her in Erik's eyes these days. How could he have missed Meg's light all those years? Erik begrudged all those missed opportunities when he and Meg could have shared some fond memories. Well, perhaps at that time they would not have been quite so pleasant as Erik could not see anyone beyond Christine at that time.

Erik tried not to let his jealousy get the upper hand when Meg laughed at something Aubrey said or seemed to be in conversation with the man for longer than Erik considered necessary. Being of a very possessive nature Erik had to fight the urge to drag Meg away and lock her in a room where only he had access to her. Memory served him well in this as he compared how he wanted to lock Christine away from Raoul and the world. His crazed need to own her had not served his cause and it would not serve him well with Meg either. Therefore he must let her light shine and encompass others. He imagined Meg had enough caring to enfold the whole of France in her loving arms.

It had felt as if he had been given some great gift when Meg had smiled encouragingly at him when he had spoken to Raoul and Christine in a polite conversation. Erik had found Raoul to be quite entertaining and knowledgeable much to his surprise. Regrets were useless but he could at least learn from his mistakes. Not everyone in the world wanted to shuck him away hidden from society. Perhaps it had been he himself wanting to hide from the world that had let him bury himself in the ground all those years.

The time Erik seemed most out of sorts were those moments when Little Erik joined them. Erik longed to hold the child against his chest. His fingers could almost feel the soft fluff that would be the child's hair. Being so young he could not clearly focus on anyone. Christine had bid Erik to look at her perfectly formed son. Of course she had not used those words but Erik thought them. Would a son of his be cursed or blessed as Raoul and Christine's child had been?

The day they all went on a picnic turned into one of torture for Erik as well as a revelation. Everyone had ridden out on the wagon to the spot just along the waterway. Lunch had been enjoyed as well as cold drinks. Meg and Erik had fooled no one with their sly glances toward one another. It had been suggested everyone go for a walk. Erik had felt lazy and declined. His real motive had been his hope that Meg would find some excuse and stay behind with him.

To Erik's consternation Meg went along to stretch her legs. They left asking Erik to keep an eye on the sleeping baby. Erik had wanted to protest strenuously but had held his tongue. They would surely return before the child awoke and needed tending? Christine being a good mother and Raoul being a diligent father, they would not want to leave their precious offspring in his monstrous care for long. It baffled him they trusted him at all.

Erik sat ramrod straight upon the blanket. From the corner of his eyes he watched the small sleeping child. He could hear little grunts every once in a while as the baby stretched and moved in his sleep. Each time Erik held his breath praying the child stayed asleep. Only about ten minutes had passed when he heard the first low whimpers that signaled the infant had awakened. With the passing seconds the sounds grew in volume as well as sounding more demanding.

Erik began to feel panic building up inside of him. He looked in the direction everyone had gone for their walk. He could see no one headed back this way. What should he do? Dare he touch the child? When the cries had reached ear numbing range Erik could take it no longer. Crawling on his hands and knees Erik went to the child. The first thing that he noticed was the foul smell emanating from the child. Good Lord how could such a small being produce something so vile?

Erik need not be a parent to know what had taken place in that little one's nappy. Deducing that he could not in good conscience leave his namesake in such discomfort Erik set about finding everything he might need to change a baby's nappy. Having gathered everything Erik set about doing what needed to be done. He nearly gagged once he had removed the piece of cloth from the infant's bottom. Not lingering any longer than necessary Erik finished the task quickly if not very expertly. Not knowing where to put the soiled cloth Erik tossed it as far away as he could. The further the better was his opinion.

Taking note of the little fists being nearly sucked down Little Erik's throat Erik looked about for a bottle. He recalled Christine placing it in the water to stay cool. Hoping peace would reign while the bottle could warm Erik retrieved the chilled bottle. Not having any other idea how to warm it Erik placed it under his armpit. At least he had sufficient layers not to feel the coldness of the glass against his skin. If the others returned at this moment he would probably crawl under the blanket in his embarrassment to be caught doing such a thing. The rising volume of the crying child would not win him any favor either.

By now the pitiful cries had become quite loud. When Erik heard little hiccupping coughs that replaced the crying he panicked. All he needed was for the child to choke to death while under his care. No one would believe he had not done something out of spite to end the little tyke's life. Knowing in the back of his mind he exaggerated things he really did not worry about any retributions from anyonw just as he knew the child wasn't in any danger of dying.

Carefully as if lifting the most fragile piece of glass Erik lifted his namesake from the blanket. Once aloft Erik had no idea what he should do next. In order to feed the baby of necessity he would have to bring it nearer to his person. Slowly Erik drew his hands toward his chest. Once he felt that warm bundle nestled so trustingly against him Erik knew he was lost. Something deep inside of him seemed to melt. Warmth suffused him even as his chest tightened. This must be what Raoul felt every time he held his son. How much more intense would it be to hold his own son Erik could not help wondering. Could he go through the rest of his life without having this emotional attachment for his own child?

Erik held the nipple of the bottle to that searching mouth. Little Erik grasped onto the nipple greedily. Erik felt something tug within him as he watched his namesake drink hungrily. Only then did it occur to him that Christine usually feed her child in the natural manner. This bottle had been drawn this morning in preparation for the outing in case Christine was not available to feed her son.

The reaction he felt to this image Erik could not control. The heat of desire shamefully shot through him. Blessedly Meg's image removed Christine's from Erik's lustful thoughts. With a great amount of self-control Erik reigned in his thoughts as they did not seem proper while holding the child of his past heart's desire. Those thoughts had come to Erik unwanted. Perhaps every man retained some inexplicable longing for the woman who first woke love in his heart. Erik did not feel any disloyalty toward Meg as he would never act on what his mind imagined with anyone other than Meg herself.

Having settled his libido back into its proper place Erik set about enjoying these stolen moments of happiness. He soon noted that he no longer felt nervous or awkward. This seemed somehow right that he should feel this tiny, trusting bundle nestled here so close to his heart. Erik looked down into that perfect little pink face. He reached out a shaky finger toward the tiny cheek. The softness of it amazed him. Did even the finest silk compare to this child's unmarred flesh?

Needing to know Erik placed his hand over the child's right cheek so he concealed all but the lower right portion of the face and the complete side of the left. Not wanting to look down he knew he must. Slowly Erik let his gaze drop downward holding his breath in fear of what his future may be.

When he at last lowered his eyes enough he opened them to let the child's image burn into his memory. Erik could see no real difference in the child. If a blanket had fallen across his face the effect would have been the same. Would a child who grew up in a loving family feel less than others because of his hidden face? Would a child of this loving family even feel the need for such a contrivance? If Erik himself had such a family growing up might he not have looked at himself and the world differently? Such utter relief engulfed Erik he could not help but hug the child closer to him placing a on kiss on that soft as angel wings cheek.

Erik wanted to shout out loud in his moment of revelation. He could have a son or daughter. It would not matter if his affliction could be passed on. He and Meg would love their child without reservations. For a man who had never been in contact with children of any age Erik felt proud of how he had handled the situation. At first he had been hesitant but he had come through it without any harm coming to his charge.

He could not contain the lullaby which sprang into his mind. Softly he crooned the words lulling Little Erik into a peaceful sleep. Even after the child had clearly fallen asleep Erik could not bear to part with his blessed burden. Lying down Erik placed the now sleeping baby in the crook of his arm. He had not intended to fall asleep but sleep overcame him bringing him such wonderful dreams he might have longed to stay in that dream world for eternity.

Meg had been the first to return. She had stopped short upon seeing Erik lying with Little Erik nestled so closely to him. Meg's eyes filled with happy tears to see Erik so comfortable with the baby. She had feared his change in attitude had something to do with Christine's child. Perhaps she had misinterpreted the meaning of Erik's outburst. It may have not been for the reason she had at first thought. What if Erik had not been upset because the child had been created out of the love between Christine and Raoul? Perhaps Erik had a fear of bringing a child into this world with anyone. He may think his affliction could be passed on. Meg did not care if she bore a child with every feature Erik possessed other than for the sake of the child. She knew without doubt she would love any child whether her own or someone else's if it were to be born as Erik had been.

Raoul startled to see Erik with his son cradled so closely in the arms of his one time nemesis. For an instant Raoul thought to race forward and snatch the peacefully sleeping child from Erik. He had even taken a step forward to do just that when he felt a hand gently pulling him back. Looking in the direction from where the hand came from Raoul saw Christine looking at him with tears in her eyes. She shook her head no to let him know he had nothing to fear from Erik.

Stepping closer to her husband Christine wrapped her arm around his waist as she laid her head on his shoulder. This was what Erik needed, what he deserved to have. Christine did not feel any jealousy within her to think of Erik and Meg together. She closed her eyes in gratitude. It would have been a destructive sort of love if she could not have given Raoul every bit of her emotional devotion. Erik had a small piece of her heart but Christine felt confident her husband and child now held tightly onto her heart strings.

Raoul could not deny Christine's silent request or ignore the tears coursing down Meg's face. The dreamy-eyed look she had trained on the sleeping man told the whole story about Meg's feelings for Erik. There could be no doubt in anyone's mind at this point as they saw Meg's heart so clearly put on display.

Aubrey placed his hands behind his back complacently. He did feel somewhat superfluous at the moment. He did not mind in the least. His own happiness would be waiting for him back home. If this little scene did not affirm that true love could conquer all nothing on God's green earth ever would.

Sensing movement beside him Aubrey remembered another party member who might be feeling left out. Antoinette had tears streaming down her face. She had a handkerchief wiping the steady flow of tears away as they fell. Placing a comforting arm around her shoulder Aubrey drew Antoinette into his reassuring embrace. Antoinette accepted the comfort Aubrey offered gladly. She felt her heart might nearly burst at this moment. Never had she thought to live to see the day Erik would be sleeping so peacefully in broad daylight. To add to her amazement he had the child of his lost love in his arms without a care in the world it would seem.

Her daughter Meg looked at Erik like a drowning person would look at a rescuer. Perhaps not only Erik had needed to be rescued. Meg had for quite some time been on the brink of some sort of life changing decisions. She loved dancing but in the latter part of her career it had not seemed to satisfy her as it had in the beginning. Antoinette remembered her own years with a loving man coming to save her from her own lonely existence. Dancing could consume a person for a time but life had a way of demanding things change. We must experience new things and grow or we become stagnate and dissatisfied with our life.

Perhaps Meg had been searching for the person who would be the other half of her soul, her soul mate. Erik had thought he had found his in Christine. What a tragedy that would have been for everyone if it had come to be.

Not having any more patience for her tears Antoinette set about getting everyone interested in some refreshing lemonade. Meg she noted had gone to wake Erik. Kneeling down Meg bent to lay her lips softly upon Erik's. She did not even cast so much as a glance over her shoulder to see if anyone took notice of her inappropriate behavior. Antoinette had a feeling Meg would not care a fig what anyone other than Erik thought of her.

**A/N: Let me just say a quick thank you to all who review and those that do so consistantly. I appreciate each and every one of you. Every review even if only a few short words uplifts me when I need affirmation that someone does read and appreciate my writing. Thanks again to you all. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

**Learning to Love**

Erik had awoken from his pleasant dream to an even more pleasant sensation upon his lips. Breathing in he inhaled what could only be Meg's memorable scent. He let his lips respond as they wished. In his dreams no one would chastise him for taking advantage of Meg's generous nature.

Hearing the voices of others then remembering the little bundle beside him Erik groaned inwardly. Opening his eyes he was caught by the fire in Meg's own eyes. Nothing in her look spoke of anything other than what he knew to be in his own eyes as well. They wanted one another only as two people can who find the other person who fit every idea they had of completing their life. Foolishly he had let his obsession with Christine cloud too many of those precious years he could have gotten to know Meg more intimately.

Erik had put Christine in that place where Meg should always have been. He had been led astray by his music and Christine's angelic voice. Real lasting emotional attachments came with knowing someone over time. Lust could lead us to believe we loved but without anything else to build upon that fire did eventually fade without anything to fuel it over the long span of a person's life. Sharing artistic interests could fuel a passion for many years but one needed more than a passion for the arts to maintain sexual passion and to weather life's troubles.

Contrary to what Erik thought Meg did not scramble hastily away from him. She remained leaning over him with her lips mere inches from his own. No one could mistake what had taken place or perhaps what would have taken place had they not intruded upon the couple. Meg deliberately lingered over Erik's prone figure wishing to once and for all convey to everyone how she felt about him. She felt no shame in loving him so why must she hide her emotions? There was also the little niggling voice informing her that this would clearly lay her claim upon Erik's affections in Christine's presence. Christine had been somewhat different the last few days but Meg wanted no doubts lingering where she and Erik were concerned.

Raoul cast a quick glance toward his wife. He felt his hands tightening upon the cold glass in his hands. Much more pressure and the glass would shatter. Christine had a pleased smile upon her face. She turned to Raoul catching him looking between her and Erik. Reaching out she extended a reassuring hand to Raoul. She had a lot to make up to him. It may take some time to win back Raoul's complete trust but she felt the effort to be worth whatever he required of her.

Christine felt she might always feel some small amount of jealousy toward whoever Erik would chose to share his life with. It would be hard to let go completely of the image she had instilled in her from early childhood. He had been her father, savior, hero, teacher, role model and first physical awakening. It would be only natural to feel possessive of him and feel jealous of his affections. Did all girls not feel jealous of their fathers?

She could allow herself to feel all those emotions without wanting to change one moment of her life with Raoul. Christine felt she had at last begun her first steps on the road to being a mature woman. She had a long way to go but with Raoul at her side Christine felt she could conquer whatever the world placed in her path.

Antoinette had at first been unsettled to come upon Meg hovering over Erik in what could only be a compromising position. Even if she had known Meg had gone to Erik immediately upon their return it still startled her. Her motherly instincts had almost had her going to Meg and pulling her all the way back to England. That had only lasted for a few seconds then the realization hit that this had been what she had wanted for Meg and Erik. At last it seemed they may be on the right path.

Antoinette allowed Meg and Erik a few more moments to exchange silent messages before she called to Meg to take Erik his glass of lemonade. Meg smiled one last time down at Erik before trailing her hand across his lips in a lingering caress. The resulting fire glowing in Erik's eyes pleased her. Perhaps he at last was on his way to relinquishing the hold Christine had on him. Meg did feel more confident about Erik's response to her. Time and patience would reap Meg her greatest reward she felt sure.

Meg left Erik still lying on the blanket bemused as well as painfully aroused. The infant beside him gurgled and blew spit bubbles as he nearly crossed his eyes trying to focus in on Erik. Erik did not mind having been aroused then left to his own devices. This time he knew it had nothing to do with his face or fear of him. Meg had sensibly gone to join the others.

Erik gave Christine and Raoul both concerned glances. He expected one or both of them to rush to their child's rescue the moment they returned. Neither seemed overly concerned at the moment. Erik did not know if he could be so trusting if the roles were reversed. If a child of his came anywhere near another person with a past similar to his own Erik would build an impregnable wall around his home barring the cruel outside world.

This revelation had Erik considering another side to his decision to have or not have children. What kind of father would a former murderer, blackmailer, kidnapper and general Phantom and Opera Ghost be? Had he left that life far enough behind that he could be trusted to build the character of a vulnerable child? On his own perhaps not but Erik felt that with Meg to guide him he could slay any dragon that would threaten his child, including his own darker nature. Meg brought out a side of Erik that only Christine had tapped into as a child. Meg dug even deeper into those inner recesses of the man Erik wished to become.

Erik felt his namesake stirring more energetically. The small face beside him had puckered lips and a face so red it concerned Erik greatly. Erik tentatively patted the tiny tummy just as a surprisingly loud cry filled the air. Raoul hearing his child's cry told Christine he would get his son. Raoul wished to speak to Erik without anyone else being within hearing. He had nothing detrimental to say but did not think he or Erik would appreciate any witnesses to their conversation.

Raoul dropped down beside Erik on the other side of his now wiggling offspring. The little fists waved in the air agitatedly as his cries grew in volume. Raoul could not help the loving glance he directed toward his son. His heart felt ready to explode with the amount of love filling his heart at that moment. Just as Raoul reached for his son Erik jerked his hand back. Erik's movement drew Raoul back to the dual purpose for volunteering to fetch Little Erik. He wished to bring some sort of peace between him and the man Christine had loved for many years creating a special link between the two of them.

Raoul would always feel a little bit of competition for Christine's whole heart but felt confident enough in the reaffirmation of their love these last few days to have the certainty that although Erik occupied some small space in Christine's heart, he and their son, Little Erik held the greater portion of it. They alone had Christine's complete loyalty. Raoul knew this now beyond a shadow of a doubt.

"Erik I wish to speak plainly with you. Our meetings have not come about in the normal way most men meet or even in how they compete for a woman's hand. The past is just that, the past. We were both different men back then. I can say this to you with all honesty, back at the opera house I did not behave in a gentlemanly fashion. I know you did not show your best side either but I have since come to think that if I had perhaps let Christine handle things in a different manner we would not have ended up at one another's throats."

Erik remained sitting silently looking straight ahead. Raoul hoped that did not indicate any foreboding behavior about to occur. Just to be safe Raoul picked up his son ready to jump up and run at the first sign of violence from Erik.

"If you and I had been different men at the time we may have been able to strike a bargain how to proceed in our pursuit of Christine. I had been so used to getting everything I wanted when I wanted it. Nothing had ever really been denied me. I had loving parents while you…well best not bring that up I suppose," Raoul said as he cast a quick glance in Erik's direction. Still the man beside him made no move.

"What I wanted to ask, for everyone concerned, is that could we be, if not friends, then at least not mortal enemies? I have no wish to be at war with you any longer. I have so much more to occupy me now that I do not want to waste one second longer harboring useless anger and resentment toward anyone."

Erik sat silently digesting all Raoul had said. For one so young Erik had to concede Raoul had grown into a fine man. A much better man than he himself could claim to be. Searching deeply within himself Erik could find not one iota of any negative emotion lingering toward either Raoul or Christine. He had wasted far too much of his life living with a chip on his shoulder against humanity. Now seemed the opportune time to lay all those old ghosts to rest.

"Raoul…" Erik paused as his emotions threatened to overwhelm him. "Raoul I too would like to begin things with a clean slate as it were. I have many regrets not the least of which is the way I manipulated Christine's trusting heart and mind. If I had revealed myself to her earlier she may not have been able to love me the way I needed to be loved but I should have at least given her that choice. How could I have expected things to turn out any differently? I can now say with total honesty that I am relieved not to be tied with the responsibility of delivering Christine's happiness," Erik said with palpable relief in his tone.

Thinking he may have insulted Christine he quickly said, "I mean no disrespect by saying that but just recently I have been enlightened as to my feelings for someone else, someone who had been right under my very nose, if I had only taken the time to take a closer look in her direction. I fear I let my love of music and desperation to have it performed place all my hopes and dreams squarely on Christine's far too fragile shoulders," he said hanging his head briefly in shame.

"Without going into the whole sorry mess that had been my childhood I can only say in my defense that I had not had the opportunity to learn how to cope with emotions or anything even hinting at the gentler side most people are able to share with others. As you may or may not have guessed the person I am referring to is Meg. I have found her to be an extraordinary woman. She has the patience of a saint. Believe me if anyone would know it would be me. I have tested her over the last few months. In return she has been nothing but kind and considerate for my wellbeing. Amazing as it still seems to me, Meg has indicated that she returns my regard. I think we may even be unofficially courting if a man such as I can expect such a thing. With Meg nothing sounds impossible." He paused a moment for Raoul to take in and consider all he had said before continuing on.

"So, Raoul, I do believe we can consider ourselves past antagonists who will endeavor to form some sort of cordiality to please the women in our lives. Shall we shake hands to cement our agreement as well as give those watching us with the eyes of a hawk a clear indication that we will not be heading for the nearest weapons. I for one do not relish having Antoinette set about me with the nearest rock at her feet. She is a formidable woman when in defense of those she loves. I can't say as I like how your cousin is eyeing me either. I had thought he and I had come to terms days ago. You are truly blessed to have such a person as a family member."

Raoul glanced quickly over to where Aubrey had taken up a protective stance just a few feet from them. He had his hand on the hilt of his sword. Raoul had not even realized Aubrey had brought his weapon. It had only just occurred to Raoul to wonder why he himself had forgone arming himself today. Had he foreseen that today would be a day to bury all old grievances? Raoul did not think himself clairvoyant or that intelligent. It had simply been a case of having other things on his mind. He had not really thought Erik would have a go at him under the circumstances. There were far too many witnesses.

Erik and Raoul climbed to their feet then with a great show of camaraderie they clasped hands while Erik patted Raoul upon his shoulder. Erik felt as if a boulder that he had not known about had just fallen from him. Letting go of past grievances apparently could be a freeing experience. To show that he meant all that he said Raoul offered Erik his namesake. Erik eagerly took Little Erik into his arms once more.

As Raoul looked upon Erik and his son he did not see the same crazed killer from Paris. He could not say Erik had lost all of that darker side but he had learned to control it, or perhaps it was Meg who controlled Erik thereby controlling those inner demons Erik had hounding him for most of his life. Raoul for one would be glad not to feel he needed to sleep with one eye open and his hand manacled around his wife's wrist. Christine had been sleeping better since coming to terms with her relationship with Erik. For that Raoul thanked Erik heartily even if the gesture remained unspoken. Christine had been returned to him a warmer more mature woman. She seemed to have found a new confidence within herself. Raoul could not help thinking that all they had needed really had been a little time without worries to grow up. Maturity brought wisdom.

Everyone seemed to take on new life during the remainder of the picnic. Meg coaxed Erik into singing. He had not sung in front of another human being since the night of Don Juan Triumphant. Erik sang a love ballad as he trained his full attention on Meg. No one could doubt who the ballad was meant to sway into a romantic interlude. Judging by Meg's enraptured look Erik would not be disappointed later when they had a private moment


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

**Courtship**

Meg lay in bed the day after the picnic happier than she had been in a long time. If she had even been this contented ever before she could not think when it would have been. She smiled dreamily when the night's end came into her thoughts. She and Erik had only waited until everyone had gone to bed then a few minutes longer so as to be sure everyone lay sleeping behind those closed doors.

They had both known to go to the library. Once there Erik had led Meg into the conservatory he had created for her. He wanted this special night to be in a place where bad memories could be cleansed with newer happier moments.

This place he wanted to be only associated with Meg's laughter and his own slightly rusty gaiety. His somewhat shy confession had startled Meg. She had never imagined Erik would ever be shy about anything. As the Phantom he had seemed to be an all powerful being. Even when in the throws of agony he had carried a semblance of power.

Meg was not the only person reliving the splendor of the night before. Erik could not seem to gather enough energy to leave his bed. For once it did not seem such a lonely place. Even if he was the only occupant Erik knew that had he wished it Meg would be in this very bed having spent the night pleasuring him and being pleasured in return. As badly as Erik longed to take that final irrevocable step he had controlled himself. As inexperienced as Erik still was he had known all it would have taken for Meg to join him in his room would be a few words of encouragement.

Indeed her actions almost tore down his wall of certainty that they should wait until that final commitment had been made. The blaze she had set wherever she touched had nearly been the end to Erik's waning control. Meg had coaxed him into some very heated explorations that nearly toppled them both over the edge. Erik would not have thought it possible to achieve a climatic encounter while fully clothed. He had been disabused of that notion last night.

Only thoughts of last night's encounter had Erik ready to perform the intimate act of mating. Just imagining how Meg would feel beneath him nearly brought him past the point of no return. He growled in frustration. This feeling he had become well acquainted with over the years of his early adolescence and on into manhood.

Until he had discovered how to achieve fulfillment without a partner Erik had been a very surly teenager, more so than his life called for at the time. Sexual frustration added unnecessary fuel to an already burning inferno of hate against the world.

Erik had been relatively at peace for the first few years living underneath the opera house. Puberty had shot him into a realm he did not know how to deal with or really understand why he felt as he did. Some instinct had led him to discover how to relieve his unwanted erections. At that time his need for a woman had seemed to be a hindrance to his creativity. Later that want had turned into a nearly unstoppable desire,

Last night Meg had driven him beyond any control. He had thought she might think him some rutting beast but she had surprised him. When he would have removed himself from her, Meg had encouraged him to take what she wanted to give to him freely. Even as she blushed Meg had used her hands and lips to bring him to a glorious climax.

He had begun to apologize while claiming himself to be no better than an animal, but Meg would not hear of it. She had told him nothing other than their eventual union could please her more. She had wanted to give him some relief. Not having shared such intimate acts with anyone did not mean she did not know the workings of men's and women's bodies. Innocence did not mean ignorance. Erik had to smile reminiscently when he recalled how red Meg had turned when he had boldly lifted her skirt to seek that place which held all her womanly secrets.

She had spluttered in embarrassment for all her brave talk of knowing about such things. A few strategic maneuvers from Erik's fingers had her moaning for more. Erik had felt a bit of male pride creep in when she called for him for more. She had demanded his lips. Their lips had almost set them afire at that first touch. Knowing he gave Meg the same pleasure she gave him nearly had nearly set of an explosion inside his trousers again.

Not wanting to waste another moment lying in bed Erik bathed and dressed faster than he ever had before. It did not even bother him to look in the mirror as he shaved. All he thought about was not rubbing Meg's tender skin so that he marred that perfect canvas of beautiful soft flesh.

When Erik reached the breakfast room everyone had already assembled. When he caught Meg's eye she blushed but held his gaze bravely refusing to look away. She must have seen the desire burning there for she blushed even a darker shade of red if possible. This new power he had over another person felt like nothing Erik had ever experienced before.

When Erik seated himself at the table he felt eyes burning into him. Looking up his eyes caught Antoinette's boring a hole in him. Much to his disgust Erik felt the heat rise into his own cheeks. Knowing it was not possible, Erik still felt as if Antoinette knew exactly how Meg and he had spent those stolen hours in the conservatory. He refused to feel like some schoolboy caught misbehaving. He and Meg were both adults and quite able to make decisions on their own as to how they would conduct themselves.

Antoinette had come down to breakfast feeling as if things would turn out well for everyone. She had not been prepared to see the strange glow in Meg's eyes. It may have been some years since she had indulged in any intimacy with a man but Antoinette knew very well what had put that glow in Meg's eyes. It did not take a genius to know who had put it there either. Now Antoinette shot Erik a look meant to set fire to him or send him running in the opposite direction from her daughter, at least for the time being, until they had announced their intentions to become man and wife.

The tinge of red burning in Erik's cheeks had been all the proof Antoinette needed that Erik and Meg had in some way shared more than a simple kiss. Others may look at her daughter and not see any difference but Antoinette and Meg were so close they could almost read one another's thoughts.

Antoinette waited until the meal had been finished before she requested a moment of Erik's time. Her request had sounded more along the line of a command to everyone at the table.

Christine knew that tone in her mother's voice as well as Meg did. They exchanged glances sharing a sisterly moment. Erik would be in for a few uncomfortable minutes under Antoinette's sharp, overprotective tongue.

Meg managed to grasp Erik's hand briefly for an encouraging squeeze just before he went to meet her mother. She almost felt sorry for him. He did not look entirely happy to be joining her mother for a little early morning chat. She could not blame him after meeting her mother's knowing glances at breakfast. Thank the Lord she and Erik had not given in completely to their desires. Her mother would probably have strung Erik by his thumbs from the ceiling if he had taken that last step before he asked her to wed him.

Knowing both Erik and her mother Meg could see Erik refusing to be bullied into marriage while being able to hear her mother firmly stating Erik would wed her daughter or be strung from the highest tree by a pair of his favorite took up residence in the hall just outside the sitting room. She pressed her ear to the thick door not able to hear a thing. She cursed Erik's propensity for wanting such soundproofing all over the house.

Once the door closed behind Erik he turned to encounter Antoinette close behind him with her arms crossed. She had a look upon her face he had never thought to see directed at him. That stony glare had reduced countless young ballerinas to tears and confessions of all their misdeeds. Erik would be damned if he would let such a diminutive woman frighten him. He traded glare for glare.

As time passed with neither giving way Erik began to feel prickles all along his skin. He broke contact first exclaiming in irritation, "Now see here Antoinette," he paused at her fierce frown wrinkling her brow, "Madame Giry…Damn it I will not stand for…"

"First of all you will not use such language in the presence of a lady. You will show me the proper respect I deserve. Secondly you will not speak until I am finished with what I have to say then you may defend yourself if you can."

Erik had been about to speak when Antoinette held up her hand as she sent him a warning glare. Erik acquiesced to her silent command to be still.

"Sit." Antoinette barked out the command expecting no opposition. Erik did not care for the feeling that he had just received a command a man might give his dog.

"Madame I am not…" Erik stopped cold upon noting Antoinette's already cold demeanor seem to rise to glacial proportions.

"I said sit. I will not repeat myself a third time Erik. Now, take a seat…please."

Erik felt somewhat mollified that she added that please at the end of the sentence although he felt certain Madame in no way pleaded with him to obey her. He felt certain in her mind she believed no one would oppose her once she donned her ballet mistress persona. The shiver that ran up and down Erik's spine under her unblinking glare had the thought racing through Erik's mind that perhaps it would be in his best interest to concede to her bidding.

Erik took a seat in one of the more comfortable chairs forcing Antoinette to either stand at his knees to speak to him or take the other seat, thereby bringing her down to his level. He would not have her hovering over him while she spoke her mind concerning her daughter's relationship with him. Erik considered it none of her business really as Meg had reached her majority already. Out of respect he would listen to what she had to say but would not stand by if she began to berate him or denigrate him for pursuing her daughter.

After Antoinette had indeed tore a strip off Erik's back for his outrageous behavior with Meg she then asked when he would be asking for Meg's hand in marriage. Erik had not thought that far ahead in any firm fashion. He had of course had the idea that perhaps he and Meg would marry but had not planned on making that sort of commitment just yet. He and Meg had barely had time to come to some sort of understanding how they felt about one another.

With Christine Erik had rushed to claim his prize disregarding any feelings she may have. He had wanted her so badly he had discounted that she would not return his feelings. He wanted to go slowly with Meg even if he had to gird his loins in iron to stave off that monster between his legs. Another night like last night and Erik knew he would not be stopping until Meg lay beneath him naked and wanting him to make her his own in every way possible.

To appease Antoinette Erik agreed to a ceremony in three months. He could not help but think how ironic it was that he and not Meg held off their wedding night. He wanted them to have no regrets so would take the time for them to learn everything they needed to know about one another.

Wanting to go directly to find Meg Erik jerked the door open and found Meg tumbling to the floor at his feet. She mumbled some nonsense about cook needing to speak with Antoinette immediately and as she was coming this way offered to relay the message. Her guilty blush did not go unnoticed but did remain unchallenged by both Erik and Antoinette.

Grasping Meg's arm Erik helped the still mumbling Meg to her feet. Not waiting for Antoinette to disappear into the kitchen Erik pulled Meg into the room he and Antoinette had just occupied. Before she could ask what had taken place between them Erik forestalled her questions with a deep kiss. When he let her go Meg would have been hard pressed to remember her name let alone show any curiosity about a conversation.

Further thoughts left her completely when Erik passionately entreated her to become his wife in three short months. When he thought her hesitation stemmed from concern about the shortness of an engagement she quickly disabused him of that idea by stating she would have married him in three days if he asked it of her. Being an engaged woman Meg thought they could have some latitude where sleeping arrangements were concerned but Erik would have none of that. He did not confess the thought of Antoinette castrating him played any part in his firm decision to wait for all the proprieties to be performed before claiming her fully as his wife and lover.

Three months would not be so long. With everything they had to accomplish between now and then the time would go quickly and quietly would it not?

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews and those reading my story. I deeply appreciate each and every one of you. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

**Anticipation**

Three months had never seemed to last so long in Erik's life. Time seemed to have come to a standstill. He and Meg had been circumspect the last two months adhering to Antoinette's dictates that they not spend any time alone. At least they made sure no one found about their stolen moments alone. Best to leave everyone with their allusions especially Meg's mother. Besides they did not fully anticipate the wedding night although a few close calls had been weathered just barely.

Just looking at Meg had him ready to sweep her up and throw her over his shoulder. He had come close to telling Antoinette to hell with propriety. He would be wedding Meg within the day or they would anticipate the wedding night. Of course he did not say this but came damn close a time or two when Meg had him particularly wound tighter than a clock.

Erik paced about his study. Another night of sleepless tossing and turning had him ready to snap the neck of the next person who cheerily quoted that in three weeks he would be wed. Such a short time my eye had been Erik's silent response. Perhaps not quite in those same innocuous words but the meaning would be plain to anyone.

For all he had promised Antoinette he and Meg would not go beyond what she considered acceptable Erik found it harder and harder to comply with Antoinette's dictates and felt Meg to be balancing on that same tightrope. Meg knowing Antoinette had solicited a promise on his honor to behave felt no restrictions on her own behavior. Every evening they managed to escape the watchful eye of Antoinette.

Every evening Meg put Erik through torture, a sweet torture to be sure, but torture nonetheless. Erik promised himself he would be returning the favor once he and Meg were wed.

Erik found that he had begun to mind less and less that Raoul continued to reside in his home. He and Christine had been magnanimously invited by Antoinette to stay in _**his **_home for as long as they wished. Her reasoning had been that it did not make sense for them to travel all that way back to Paris when Meg needed her sister during this time of planning her wedding and since Christine would be standing beside Meg on the glorious day it made since to be available for dress fittings.

Christine felt much relieved to feel nothing but happiness when she thought of Erik and Meg together. All that nonsense from before had been once and for all put in its proper place. She had felt something very powerful for Erik but time and distance had let her see that it had only been the desires of a newly awakened young woman. That passion can stay with a person all of their lives. Perhaps not so strongly felt as when in first bloom but still enough to make ones heart beat a little quicker upon seeing the person they desired.

Now Christine could look at Erik and admit that he was indeed an attractive and seductive man. Many men were but that did not mean she would be taking them all to bed just because she found them attractive.

Meg had confided that she and Erik had gone beyond kissing. Christine had then told Meg about the nights when she had been away from the opera house. Raoul had been so attractive. He had risked his life for her. What woman could resist such a man? Even though she had at the time been confused about how she felt about Erik, it had been Raoul Christine wanted to take her innocence. He had been a tender lover initiating her into the ways men and women express their love in a physical manner. He had not demanded more of her than she felt ready to give.

Meg had asked for intimate details of what took place once the lights went out. That part of the conversation had left Christine speechless for a moment as embarrassment had taken the ability to speak from her. Antoinette had told them about their womanly cycles but had neglected to share any information about how and what men and women did once they found someone who awoke sexual stirrings within them.

Christine had to grapple through her vocabulary to find words that described what took place during that final intimacy men and women shared. Meg's eyes grew round as saucers as Christine began to elaborate upon the subject. Once she started she found the words flowed quite easily as she described Raoul's prowess as well as his hidden attributes. Christine thought it best to inform Meg just how big some men could be. Raoul was very…well very well endowed.

Meg had told Christine that she had intimate knowledge of Erik's attributes. She then explained how she came by this knowledge. Christine felt it wise to tell Meg that she too had known of Raoul's hidden attributes before they actually came together but feeling it and seeing it were vastly different.

By the time they had finished their talk Meg felt a little apprehensive as to just how large Erik could be. Her imagination went from very small to a size not humanly possible.

Meg could not seem to keep her gaze from Erik's trousers as she contemplated and speculated over his private parts. As her nerves unraveled Meg questioned why no one had ever written a book warning women of the ordeal ahead of them once they married. By the time the wedding day arrived Meg felt ready to bolt. She loved Erik with every breath she took. Erik loved her of that she would bet her life. She also knew Erik would never hurt her. Meg had the chance to observe all the quests attending their wedding. So many married couples filled the pews. Their children sat fidgeting beside them. A few of the more romantic couples would look at their partner so they could share a smile or pat on the hand. If the wedding night had been so fearsome would the women not have barred the men from their beds? All of those children had not been found in a pumpkin patch.

As Raoul escorted Meg down the isle Erik chose that moment to turn to her. He looked so handsome he took the very breath from her. Seeing the love shining in his eyes Meg felt all her silly worries melting away. Erik would never do anything she felt uncomfortable doing. When she thought about it Erik was no more experienced than she herself was. They would be entering this new closeness on equal footing. They would learn together what to do.

Meg felt tears coming to her eyes as she repeated the words that would make her Erik's bride. Erik unashamedly let his own tears fall down his cheeks as he repeated those blessed words that bound him to Meg for eternity. The kiss they shared at the end of the ceremony held all the passion, love, promises and care they pledged to one another.

After sharing a few hours with their guests Erik tossed out his farewells then hurriedly led Meg to the stairs. He did not care if he had been impolite or vulgar. He wanted his wife to himself. He had gone through torture these last three months trying to honor his promise to Antoinette. Well they were wed now and the wait was over. He would have his bride in every way possible.

Erik barely waited for the door to close before pulling Meg into a tight embrace. He lifted her against him kissing her with long restrained passion that threatened to let loose his inner demons. Meg pushing against his chest did not at first register as Erik had been drifting in a sensual haze. Once his senses began to return he stepped back wondering what he had done wrong. Setting Meg back on her feet he waited to see what troubled her.

Perhaps he had behaved a little like a crazed fiend but damn it he had waited so long for this. Could he not be pardoned for a loss of control? Hanging her head Meg began to speak. Her head buried in his chest did not allow him to hear what she said. All he could hear were a few disjointed mumbled words. Tilting her head up with his finger under her chin Erik asked her to tell him what he had done wrong. Whatever it was he would never do it again.

Not wanting Erik to think he had done anything wrong when he had done nothing but draw her soul from her body with a kiss, Meg took her courage in her hands and told him of her fears. Erik had to struggle to withhold the laughter as Meg described a certain part of his anatomy she could only gesture toward with a flaming face but could not bring herself to speak plainly of what it was called.

Considering how closely Antoinette had watched Meg and Christine perhaps Meg was not so well informed as he had thought. She had come across as very knowledgeable when giving him pleasure all those weeks before they entered into the dry wasteland of their engagement.

Erik lowered his head to capture Meg's lips in a soft kiss that gradually gained momentum. Soon they were breathing heavily while restlessly gliding their hands over one other. Clothing slowly dropped to the floor. Erik whispered words of love and reassurance to Meg as he removed one garment at a time.

Having nothing but his instincts to guide him Erik slowly wooed his new bride. He must have been doing something right as she hastily removed his clothing from him.

Before Meg new what had happened they were lying side by side naked. She had no time to panic as Erik used what little knowledge he had to bring Meg to the brink of fulfillment. Once he had her ready to receive him Erik parted her thighs then sank down slowly letting his manhood rest against the entrance to Meg's counterpart to his instrument of pleasure. When she did not panic or shy away Erik gently probed her opening. His body wanted to surge forward but he forced himself to take things slowly. He would not be able to withhold his body from reaching a quick climax once he entered Meg so he must make sure he brought her over that plateau first.

As soon as Erik saw the full glory that made up the whole of Meg he thought all would come to a quick conclusion. God must have taken pity on him for Erik withheld reaching his climax long enough to explore all the wonders of Meg laid out before him. He tried not to linger in one place too long so as not to seem unschooled or crass by his inspection. In the end Meg had gathered her own courage to explore him as well as voice those places he touched in a particular way that gave her pleasure.

Passion filled exclamations soon filled the air. Erik had his own preferences as to where and how Meg touched him but held his tongue that first time as he wanted her to learn the whole of him just as he learned everything about her. Their first time had nothing of finesse or constraint about it. Once they came together, in that most intimate of all unions, all earthly bonds had been severed. Meg and Erik came apart in their passion.

Erik possessed Meg not with experience as he would have thought he would have when he took a wife but his enthusiasm and willingness to everything to please her more than made up for any clumsiness he might have displayed. He must have done something right as Meg's loud cries of encouragement reached his ears to drive him even to greater sensual bliss.

At one point Erik feared the whole household must surely be able to hear the two of them shouting and groaning. Personally Erik thought it might give Raoul cause for jealousy and maybe Christine as well.

Meg seemed quite taken with his less than accomplished lovemaking. The things she said in the heat of passion had Erik's male pride climbing to the heavens. Erik learned that night that he had married quite a fireball when it came to intimacies. Meg opened herself up completely to him not feeling any shame for having enjoyed their night together.

He had not wanted her to feel shy or embarrassed by what she had done or said. He need not have worried for that little hussy had asked him quite boldly in the broad light of day if they might explore such things again. Not being of an insane mind any longer of course Erik speedily replied in the affirmative. Knowing the household would surely be awake and about Erik tried to curb both of them from expressing their increased pleasure in such a vocal manner as they had the night before.

When they could not contain their exclamations Erik covered Meg's mouth with his own. They feasted on one another as they reached an even higher plane of enjoyment than the night before which Erik had considered to be impossible.

Having sated one another for the moment they gave into the need to show themselves at the morning meal. If Erik had his way they would all have been sent packing before his and Meg's I dos had faded away in the church chapel.

When he and Meg entered the breakfast room Erik paused as every eye seemed to inspect Meg for any damage he might have inflicted. Did they think he turned into a ravaging beast when night fell? Did they have some notion that when in the presence of a comely naked woman he turned into something other than a mere man? Recalling how he and Meg had come together rather forcefully and somewhat loud in passion, Erik had to concede they were not far off the mark.

Meg daringly lowered the hand she had resting at his back to the left cheek of his derriere. She squeezed him nearly causing him to jump out of his boots. He cast her a heated sideways glance filled with the promise of retribution once in the privacy of their bedroom.

Erik did not miss her coy smile or the quick upward glance from her eyes clearly stating she would welcome any punishment he cared to bring down on her head.

With no one else would either of them have felt such confidence or could they be so bold. Their love for one another had broken the chains that had bound them previously. For his part Erik had never felt so free yet held captive at the same time. Meg held him by her love alone. He did not feel that weighted down imprisonment from the days living under the opera house or any other time of his life. These chains Erik welcomed as Meg held the key to his freedom. She never held on so tightly he felt strangled nor did she let go so that he felt abandoned or alone.

Even when parted from one another Erik could feel Meg all around him as well as within his very core. She had claimed every part of him with gentle hands. He did not fear this captivity. He welcomed it as well as savored all that it implied. He would never be alone again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Fear the Demon?**

A year into their marriage Meg discovered that she carried Erik's child. She felt ecstatic while Erik felt torn between excitement and worry. What legacy might he pass down to any child of his? Meg did not dismiss Erik's concerns as she had a few of her own as an expectant mother. For herself she could say that no matter what her child looked like she would love it with all the love a child deserved to have. She felt certain Erik would love any child whether perfect of face or disfigured in some way as he had been. He alone could understand what that child would go through having spent his life fending off cruelty because of how God had sculpted his face.

It had not been an easy task but eventually they were both able to feel complete joy as they anticipated the birth of their child. Having observed Erik with Little Erik she felt he would be a wonderful father. Kind yet firm. Just as a father should be. Aubrey had declared himself to be the Godfather regardless of what they had in mind. He felt himself to be instrumental in orchestrating their relationship. He knew for certain he had saved Christine and Raoul's marriage by agreeing to accompany Christine on her visit to Erik's home that first time. Erik had formed a sort of brotherly attachment to Aubrey much to his surprise. The man simply did not know how to take no for an answer. He continued to beat away at Erik's resistance for a closer relationship but in the end Erik found he rather enjoyed Aubrey's overzealous nature. Acceptance at the level with which Aubrey had accepted him had left Erik with little defense when Aubrey decided he wanted them to be friends.

When Meg's time came to bring their child into the world Erik nearly collapsed with nervous anticipation. In a matter of hours there would be a small person who would look to him for guidance as well as providing all the things little ones are apt to demand whether it be of some substance or merely affection it must be provided so the child could grow into a secure adult.

Erik could only think that when he extorted all those funds from the opera house managers he had known some day he would be needing a comfortable bank account. A wife and child tended to want more than their basic needs met. He did not mind Meg's expenditures nor did he imagine he would begrudge his child anything he or she might demand. Meg's worry during her confinement had been that Erik would be too lenient when it came to discipline and denying his child anything as proved by the great number of deliveries from toy stores and children's specialty shops.

Aubrey had dissuaded Erik from storming into the birthing room when Meg's cries had continued for longer than he could stand. Erik felt Meg would feel better if he were to be by her side. Aubrey had assured him Antoinette and Christine along with the doctor and nurse would give Meg all the comfort she needed. When the nurse had come out asking for Erik to come with her as his wife demanded everyone but Erik, the doctor and nurse leave her, Erik could not help but smirk in Aubrey's direction as he passed him.

Raoul had smirked as well. He well remembered how Christine had wanted him by her side the night of her labor then a moment later declare she could not stand the sight of him hovering over her. When he would stand to leave she then would berate him for complying to her wishes.

Antoinette had not wanted to leave but could understand that Meg wished to share this moment with the man who shared parentage with her child. If Erik had not been in the picture things would have been different. Antoinette could not say she felt unhappy that Erik would be in her place as Meg brought her first grandchild into the world. During their marriage Erik had come into his own. He became the man he had been meant to be, kind, considerate and giving of all his talents. The legacy he would pass on to his children would be a considerable gift to the world. Meg had used wisdom instead of force to bring Erik into the world.

Under her influence he had gained the courage to send off much of his music to different publishers here in England as well as France and other places. He had been shocked upon receiving his first draft from the sale of an opera he had written. Erik had not even thought it to be of any noteworthy mention but Meg had disagreed and cajoled him into sending it off. The sum Erik received for his music and operas did not compare to what he had received during his reign in the opera house yet he valued each penny more for it came from his talent alone. The pride he gained from others appreciating his work Antoinette thought of greater value to Erik.

It hurt Erik to have to stand by and watch Meg go through so much pain while knowing he could do nothing to alleviate any of it. All he could do for her was hold her hand while he spoke soothingly to her. Every pain Meg felt became Erik's pain. As tears flowed down over his cheeks Erik swore he would never do this to her again. Meg patted his cheek trying to give him some comfort in return. Meg would suffer any pain to give Erik a child. That she felt would be the culmination of all of his dreams. All he had been denied over his life would seem as nothing when he gazed into the perfection of that little tiny being they had created. She felt certainty in every fiber of her being that the child she carried would only inherit the good qualities from his father. Her faith in God's goodness would not let her believe anything else.

Just when Erik thought Meg could not stand another moment of pain he heard a cry. Such a sweet sound he had never heard. As the cries grew in volume Meg teased Erik that his child would take the stage by storm one day. The doctor gave a little red coated squirming bundle to the nurse. She wiped the tiny face and cleaned the tiny mouth. Once she had been satisfied all was well she handed off the infant to the father. Erik looked at the woman as if she had lost every bit of sense she had possessed. Did she not know that his hands were tainted? Well of course she did not but could she not see that he was not pure enough to hold such innocence? To hold Little Erik was one thing but to hold his own child and chance passing something from him to the child was unthinkable.

Knowing exactly what Erik's thoughts were Meg whispered for him to take his child so he might bond with it. Erik shakily obeyed her command. If Meg thought him capable of holding such a tiny person and not bring them harm he must believe it also. Meg asked Erik if they had a boy or girl. Neither had asked that question as they dealt with the awe instilled in them by their progeny. Erik felt somewhat ashamed that he had not taken the time to ask or at least check his child for any possible defects. The face staring back at him blearily looked perfect to Erik. He could see no marks anywhere. Unwrapping the squirming infant Erik sent a silent prayer to God as he saw with his own eyes only a perfectly formed baby boy. He sobbed so hard he had to hand over his son to Meg. She held her son with one arm while she comforted his father by stroking his back as she spoke softly to him. Meg could not help but shed a few tears of her own. God had truly blessed them these last couple of years. If seemed as if God had decided to compensate Erik for every hurt he had ever suffered in his life. Once Meg had the nurse clean her son she fed him as Erik looked on in awe. Nothing in his life would ever look more perfect than Meg holding his son while he nursed.

Antoinette and Aubrey had waited long enough. Having heard the cry of a newborn they waited only long enough for them to get Meg and child comfortable then with only a light tap Antoinette opened the door to see Meg, Erik and her grandchild huddled together on the bed. Meg hastily pulled the blanket over her son where he suckled at her breast. Truly her mother must have lost some of her senses not to know how private this moment should be.

Christine and Raoul followed more slowly as they knew what an intrusion others could be during the first hours a new family bonded. There would be time later for everyone to be enraptured with the new person in their lives. They only wished to see the infant for a few seconds as well as the mother to assure themselves that everything was as it should be.

From the doorway they looked in at the scene before them. Christine could not help the tug to her heart to see Erik so happy. He now had everything she could have wished for him to have. Looking up at Raoul she found her husband's eyes directed downward toward her own face. She did not see any lingering doubt only love reflected there. Perhaps she did see a hint of a question in his eyes. It took only a moment to decipher what the questioning rise of his brow hinted at. With a slight smile and an almost imperceptible nod they embraced. If God favored them they would have another little angel in their own household.

It warmed Antoinette's heart that at last Erik had gotten all he had ever wanted from life. That this miracle came about because she had saved him as a child then later given him her only child in matrimony swelled her heart to bursting with love. Erik finally had what every other man had, a wife, child, home and family but most of all the love of a good woman. Everything else he considered the icing on the cake.

**A/N: Not quite the end but almost. Reviews will be greatly appreciated especially at this difficult time in my life. Divorce, cancer, poverty. My life could be a book. The only element lacking is romance. Ah well I suspose I have that in a round-a-bout way through my writing about Erik. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Loss of an Angel**

Meg stood before the once grand L'Opéra Populaire. Noting the activity around the building she was sure it would be grand once more. Never would it be the grand jewel in the crown of the arts as it once had been. She was not the lithe dancer returning to France to take up her career once more. Meg was heavy with child. Her second. How her mother had doted on little Anthony her first child.

Meg had named her son for her mother. Anthony had been as close to Antoinette as Meg could get when choosing a name. Meg brushed the black veil back over to the back of her head. Her gaze went upward to the very top of the roof. Most of it had fallen down the night of the fire. Three years it had been. Meg had only three more years to enjoy and appreciate her mother. Never had she regretted leaving France. She had missed her mother and Christine terribly in between visits.

Living with Erik as his wife gave her a new perspective of him. If he could seduce with his voice then his touch could be considered the devil's divine instrument. Countless times he had made her flesh quiver anticipating where he might lay his hand or place his lips next. It had not taken Erik long to become a confident lover. Daily Meg thanked the powers that be that Erik and Christine had never shared the same level of intimacy. If they had Meg did not feel certain she could live with that knowledge and still have the same sisterly relationship she now enjoyed with Christine.

Meg did not begrudge any residual emotions Christine had for Erik as she understood how devastating he could be without even realizing his own attractions. If she had been in Christine's place she doubted she could have left Erik or forgotten about him. Christine was welcome to her little fantasies as Meg had the glorious reality of the Phantom, Opera Ghost and Erik the man. Christine freely admitted on occassions she relived portions of their time together. With Raoul's steadfast love and the birth of their children she thought less and less of Erik as a lover. Both females agreed that if Erik ever learned of his power over the female portion of the world he would be a very powerful and dangerous man.

As much as Erik complained she had him wrapped around her finger Meg thought it was the other way around. Erik only had to use his considerable charm to get his way. When in the privacy of their bedroom he could ask for the moon and she would begin to devise a way to bring it down to earth. Meg did not really mind Erik's influence over her for did she not benefit quite frequently from his considerable talents outside the music room?

Meg felt Erik's presence behind her just before she felt him slide his arm around her waist to draw her against him. Only briefly did Meg worry about what passersby might have Erik out in public not worrying about who might see him would be worth suffering a few disapproving frowns from Parisian society. Over time Meg had little by little encouraged Erik to go out more in public. She would never ask him to walk about without his mask as that would be his choice. She did insist he accompany her and the children on any outings they may take whether for an hour or a day. Erik belonged beside her with their children.

He did not wear the mask when at home. Anthony loved to play with it as he tried to copy his father in every way that a child of two could. He liked to hold the mask to his face looking out the eyehole which did not meet where his own eye was located. The mask led to many fun filled minutes of peek-a-boo. Meg's mother had nearly had a stroke laughing to see the onetime menace of the opera house crawling about the floor as he played peek-a-boo with his son while he himself was fully exposed.

Meg never would forget to thank Erik daily for giving her a child before her mother had passed. Antoinette had doted on Anthony. She too had been grateful to Erik for her grandson. Today they would be burying her mother after she had said her final good-bye to the place where she had first caught site of Erik.

Before they came Meg had asked him if it would bring back unpleasant memories. He had told her that for all the unpleasantness he had suffered there he now had such splendor that nothing could upset him other than his loss of the one woman who had been a sort of mother to him. Being in this place brought Meg's mother closer to her than any other place could. Meg had been born in this opera house. She and Christine had grown up under this roof.

There was one thing Meg wanted but hesitated to ask as it might not be something Erik wanted to do. Meg wanted to revisit the place Erik had called home for so many years. She had not had the opportunity to explore his dwelling the last time. She did recall seeing numerous candles and objects of art fit for a museum. Erik had no doubt created much of it. She had also seen all the drawings of Christine strewn about every surface. The mannequin she tried to erase from her mind as her imagination proved all to ready to show her things she would rather not know about. It had helped that Erik had drawn Meg countless times. He had even painted a family portrait. He had left the mask off but painted his head turned so that the distorted side of his face did not show clearly.

After dropping Anthony off at Raoul and Christine's they all made the sad journey to lay to rest a wonderful woman. Meg and Christine would become even closer as they missed their mother daily. Just when Meg thought she could stand no more listening to everyone speak of her mother in the past tense she felt the little thrumming kicks from inside her womb. Erik had looked down and could see Meg's stomach moving with the force of the kicks. He laid a soothing hand over Megs protruding mound. They shared a glance filled with such love no one could doubt their happiness. Meg felt certain she carried a girl. Her child had gained her attention in the only way she could to help alleviate her mother's grief.

There had been such a strong bond between Meg and her mother that she thought death would not sever that connection. She felt her mother spoke through her unborn child to give her comfort just when Meg had a need to feel her mother's presence. Meg leaned her head upon Erik's broad shoulder. As often as they had shared intimacies Meg always felt amazed at the perfection that Erik had hidden underneath his clothing. She could not keep the smile from her face when she recalled a particular day when she, her mother and Christine had been in the garden watching Erik, Raoul and Aubrey discuss whatever it was men discussed. How the conversation had turned to men and their physiques Meg could not recall. She did remember quite clearly the shock on her mother's face when she had described Erik's very nicely muscled body. Even Christine had been shocked. Not to be outdone Christine had shoved her embarrassment aside to regale them with just how manly Raoul was underneath all the trappings of society.

When Meg and Christine had been arguing good-naturedly over whose husband had the best physique Antoinette had shocked them both into silence with she had declared with a straight face that Aubrey had both men beat as far as body sculpting was concerned. Once the shock wore off they asked just how she came by such information only to be met with silence. Antoinette let them think what they wished. She would never tell them she had played voyeur one summer when she had taken a walk to happen upon Aubrey swimming naked as the day he was born. If he had not been head over heels in love with his fiancée Antoinette might have batted her eyes at Aubrey as she joined him in that cooling water. As it was she only looked and imagined the rest.

Having made her final good-byes to her mother Meg asked Christine if she would mind keeping Anthony for the night. Without asking any questions Christine agreed. Her son, now only wanting to be called Erik, would be overjoyed to see his cousin Anthony.

Erik had given Meg a confused look when she requested he take her back to the opera house. His confusion turned to doubts about her ability to think clearly when she asked him to take her below to his old haunting ground. Once he had reentered the underground Erik felt a sense of homecoming. That surprised him as during his time here all he had ever wanted had been to leave to live above in the light.

The closer Erik came to his old home the more of the old energy he could feel coursing through his veins. Meg clasping his hand kept him from going too far into that darkness that had consumed him years ago. He could not imagine what Meg hoped to gain from coming here. He had thought it would be the last place she would want to visit. The upper levels he had understood would gain her interest but not this damp underground tomb.

Having reached the end of the tunnel that ended in the opening he had escaped through Erik brushed cobwebs aside. He stepped into the opening just to be sure nothing unpleasant touched Meg. Who knew what could have made its way down here in four years? All was as he expected. Everything had been torn apart by the mob in their frenzy to locate him. He supposed that with all the activity they had missed seeing the curtain draped over the broken mirror.

Erik took Meg's hand in a sentimental hold as he recalled how she had come after him. If not for her he would have given up any hope of living any sort of life. Indeed he had been prepared to surrender to the mob and let them do as they would.

"Meg why did you wish to see this dismal place?" Erik shivered as his voice echoed from the surrounding walls hauntingly. With all of his things strewn about the shore and some residing at the edge of the lake there was little to absorb sound as it once had. Erik had chosen this grotto for the acoustics. When he played his organ or sang the sound resonated perfectly. Now with practically nothing here but the walls the sound carried differently.

"I wanted to see the place where you had taken Christine. I know I have been here before but I had no time to really explore anything with everyone else after your blood. It has always bothered me that I never stepped foot here except on that last night. Call me a jealous woman but I cannot help feeling a little resentful for all those years you taught Christine while I you left strictly alone." She could hear the childish petulance in her voice but could do nothing to keep it from creeping into her speech.

Erik felt amused to see his oh so composed wife with her bottom lip stuck out just as their son did when he did not get his way. Going to her Erik wrapped his arms around her then rested his cheek on the top of her head.

"I shall tell you a secret that I never told anyone. When you used to sneak out at night to go on stage and pretend to be this great ballerina I watched you from my box. When I first commanded they leave box five open only to me it had been after I had seen you one night dancing by yourself. You were perhaps ten at the time. You were so graceful even then. I would come every evening hoping for a glimpse of this angelic ballerina who danced only for me. When you were younger it did not concern your mother but later as you became more mature she asked me not to ever let you see me or approach you in any way. Since she let me teach Christine I agreed as I was afraid she would demand I abandon my lessons with Christine as well. From time to time I broke my promise and would sit in my box quietly observing you. I watched as your talent reached greater perfection than even I had thought possible."

Kissing the top of her head he asked, "Meg do you regret not taking the stage again? You had been poised to become prima ballerina in another year or so. Do you hold resentment toward me as it was my insanity that ended your career?" Erik had always had this doubt that Meg was not completely happy with him.

Meg threw her arms around Erik pulling his head down for a kiss that nearly drew his very soul from his body. Leaning away to catch her breath Meg stated firmly, "Erik I loved being a dancer and would have been proud to become prima ballerina. Maman had always wanted that for me. It was not something I felt would ruin my life if I did not accomplish it. I could see children in my future more than flitting across some stage for the enjoyment of people who I did not know or did not care in the slightest if I felt happy or sad with my life. You Erik and our son Anthony are by far my greatest achievements. Giving the both of you my love and caring for you have made me happier than anyone has a right to be. I am the lucky one, not whatever ballerina took my place. Don't ever think for one second I regret my life with you. You my dear Erik have given my life meaning. I wake every morning anticipating every second we are together. Anthony and this child I carry mean more to me than if I had the adulation of kings. I love you Erik. I love you with every breath I take. When I am no longer of this earth I will still love you."

Desperately she pulled him down to her so she could let him feel in her kiss all that she said was true. Soon the fire built to the point they must give into those primitive urges or go up in flames. Erik stepped back from Meg so he could remove his cape. He did not know if the bed still resided in the alcove or if it did what condition he would find it.

Leading Meg into the room where he had once laid Christine upon his bed Erik found that his bed had been left untouched other than by time. He spread his cape out over the musty coverlet. He waited to see if Meg would object to making love in this dismally damp, dark, smelly place. When she began to unbutton her dress Erik felt as if he had been given some great gift. To make love to Meg here would in some way put all his remaining ghosts to rest if indeed he had any.

Erik wanted to erase almost every memory he had of this place. Some memories were while not exactly happy they were not altogether horrid. To have Meg here would satisfy an old dream that he had pushed to the back of his mind to keep Antoinette from stringing him up from the opera house rafters. He had not thought of how he had trailed after Meg for many years. Once Antoinette had all but forbidden him to have anything to do with her he had not let his interest in Meg go any further. He had felt honor bound by Antoinette's request to keep his distance from her daughter.

Now Erik could let every fantasy he had ever had about Meg have free reign without fear of any reprisals. Things would now be as they should have been all those years ago. Erik made love to Meg feverishly that first time. The grotto echoed with their sighs and groans. The first flush of passion had quickly come to an end leaving them both heaving to catch their breaths.

Later Erik made love to Meg passionately but at a slower pace now that they had been appeased by their first coupling. Being careful not to hurt Meg or their child Erik loved Meg as he had always wanted to when he had first come to have feelings for her. He left Meg in no doubt who owned his heart and soul. She felt loved that night as she never had before. Erik she felt now belonged to her in every way just as she belonged to him. Now when she thought of this place it would be their little slice of paradise, not the place where Erik lost his sanity over Christine.

Erik and Meg returned to collect their son glowing in such a way no one could have any doubt how they had spent their time. Christine knew later she would receive a letter from Meg sharing her secret. They always shared bits and pieces of their lives. They never told the most intimate things but hinted at them. Their mother used to pretend she thought them less than circumspect to share such things but in reality she felt glad the two of them were so close that they could share special moments of their lives without jealousy or envy entering into the equation.

Christine could honestly say she did not ever feel jealous or envious of what Meg and Erik shared as she and Raoul shared those same connections and deep emotions. Every day Christine thanked the powers that be for sending her to the opera house and for allowing her to be tutored and cared for by her Angel of Music.

They all got their happy ending.

Finis.


End file.
